Comments on: A Sense of Home

By: What is it that you want to hear | Susiej

What is it that you want to hear | Susiej — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 02:28:35 +0000

[...] news. Something along the brilliant lines of that callous minister I talked to after my Mom died, who said, “What if this had happened to your kids? You should be [...]

By: Leslie

Leslie — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 01:29:36 +0000

You are an incredible writer. Putting all these feelings into words and sharing them – I think it’s healing.

I can relate to the harsh minister. During some tragic times in my life, the most unsettling words came from people who were supposed to bring comfort. That’s disappointing. The best thing anyone ever said to me as I was grieving a loss went something like this, “You know, this is hard. And it hurts. Probably more than anything has ever hurt before. Nothing I say will make it better. So, just let it hurt ,until one day, it hurts just a little less. And maybe a while from now, you’ll find that you can live with this loss.” I think so often people try to “fix us” when we’re feeling bad, when what we need is to feel it and live through it.

I am so grateful to have my mother. Dave’s mother passed away a few years before we met. I missed out on a mother-in-law, Julia on a grandmother and Dave on so much more. The best thing for him, is when he sees a bit of his mother in his daughter.

This was such a touching post, Susie. Really, just brilliant.

By: Jenny R

Jenny R — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 16:29:09 +0000

I am so sorry for your loss. Sad, sad.

This is beautiful piece of writing and thank you for sharing it. It’s touching.

By: Painted Maypole

Painted Maypole — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 19:47:30 +0000

beautiful and sad. i hope your sense of home grows and grows

By: SusieJ

SusieJ — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 13:18:43 +0000

OH, and (un)relaxeddad…. I’ll be sure to let him know!

By: Robin

Robin — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 06:56:16 +0000

I’m sorry for your loss, and for the tremendous hole it has left in all your lives.

As for that minister, nothing I could say would be nice, so I’m just going to be quiet.

By: SusieJ

SusieJ — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 03:02:57 +0000

Oh, I rant to him all the time… he says all he can say… “I know,” and “I’m sorry.” Things would be so different. I think Kathryn has said it best, although this is not what she said exactly: I’m facing a new phase as my oldest enters his teen years, and suddenly I’m aware again that she’s not here to tell. I will probably see this again… with each new phase in my life. My husband doesn’t stand in front of me to make it all better… he knows I just need to feel this through to the other side.

Writing, by the way, helps in many ways, on many levels. Sorry to put all of my readers through this depressing stuff… but it makes me feel great!

By: Gift of Green

Gift of Green — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 03:00:34 +0000

Hi Susie – What does Mr. SusieJ have to say about all this? Sometimes I get so wrapped up I forget to talk to Green Husband… “We are nearer to spring than we were in December.” Hang in there.

By: Lisa Milton

Lisa Milton — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 00:01:15 +0000

I feel your loss, coming off a weekend when my kids played with my folks – there isn’t anything quite like it.

But I am glad you have family friends nearby. I swear some of my girlfriends are like extra aunts to my kids, filling in the gaps when Greg is away.

Take care Susie. I’m so sorry you’ve hit a rough patch.

By: (un)relaxeddad

(un)relaxeddad — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 22:25:41 +0000

The minister was a complete bastard and had no right to talk to you in that way. How could he possibly know? But then, I’ve a very limited fund of patience for clergymen in general.

It’s been eight years since supermum’s mother died and I still look at dudelet (and now dudelette) a couple of times a week and wish that she could have known them.