I am from

I WON! The George Ella Lyons I Am From Writing contest. For instructions for writing your own George Ella Lyon poem, read here:

I am from formica counter tops, Sunrise Easter Services, brown cinnamon swirls made from leftover dough, and ice cream socials in the spring. I am from sunburns sprayed with Solarcaine, and homemade dresses from Spiegel patterns. I am from rubber drinking cups from the

car
grain elevator stamped with the Champaign Landmark logo, Pepsi from returnable glass bottles, and counters littered with coffee-stained recipe cards in handwriting that makes me homesick.

I am from the bungalow house on White Street in the village that is still dry, that sits in the valley that holds two castles in front of the Mac-O-Chee Creek, with cold, fast-moving water that smoothes the gold and brown pebbles in its bed.

I am from the Hickory trees where I played “house”, Shasta daises, hollyhocks, red fox squirrels and the weathered barn and chicken coop at my Grandmother’s. From the meadows filled with grasses, deer, wheat, soybean and cornfields. I am from, “the cows are out,” and the strawberry patch at Betty’s we picked from each June. From the valley that fills with hazy fog in summer mornings, and ice storms in winter. I am from the German Shepherd named Queenie that is still a source of comfort in my dreams. I am from the cherry tree I climbed and hid in as my Mother called my name.

I am from chanting I see Lakewood in car rides in Summer, and canning green beans, corn, and pears in the pressure cooker in August. I am from hard working farmers, and puzzle masters, and worriers from Millie, and hugs from Alfred, (who always had a too-rough beard but lots of love), and Joyce, and Helen’s white paper bag of peanut clusters, and Grandpa and Grandma Watkins.

I am from the card players on Saturday night, whose best and only friends were their 7 brothers, sisters — and their mates, and whose idea of comfort was listening to the corn grow and watching the bugs fly around the pole light. I am from the sound of clicking metal needles that made Afghans, doilies and baby blankets.

I am from “thunder is just God moving his furniture,” and “hold your feet up when the car goes over the bridge.” And the one I never understood, “I’ve got your nose,” and later, “whenever one door closes, God opens a window somewhere else.” And from Helen, “God never gives you more than you can handle.” I still wonder about that one.

I am from the fundamental, born-again Christian Church, and I thankfully later learned that everything is not black and white, and that there is gray and lots of love. I am from the farmers who believed that hard work gave them favor in God’s eyes. I am from the tea-stained handbook by Norman Vincent Peale, now out of print, that I think was Grandma Watkins’, as she met him; it now sits on my nightstand, and I read from it every night, mostly because I miss her.

I am from farmlands and woods, of gatherers from France, England and Germany who started as onion farmers in this new land. I am from the 1963 black Chevy that took me home from the Mary Rutan Hospital, the place I was born, the first and last place my Mother ever spoke to me. From Grandma’s homemade noodles, hunting and frying Morels, pitchers of iced-sun tea, “frog legs” that were really hamburgers, and hard-tack candy and popcorn popped on Sunday night after church.

I am from the car parked under the big maple tree on Saturdays, and washed with the garden hose, and 4th of July fireworks with the Wooten’s at the Airport, who told me the pretty red one was for me and the pretty blue one was for my brother and the next was for Mom, and the next for Dad.

From watching the men in my sleepy, dry town gawk at June who would walk up and down Main Street in her leopard mini skirt, high heels and boa feather scarf. From tying a string to a cornstalk so I could wander freely in the field without fearing I’d get lost, from sleeping alone with my Grandma and sensing her strength and calm when she heard the coyote howl outside the door.

I am from playing “hide the button” during power outages. From the Mom who took off and ran to heaven when I wasn’t looking, and whose flowers still bloom from the earth where she planted them.

I am from the Father whose twinkling blue eyes still make my heart jump. And from the time when I was 3, I was lost in the crowd of people in Church, and I spotted his hand, at eye level, and instantly knew it was his, and squeezed it tight. The same hand that I would, 40 years later, cover and splash with my tears, as it held mine during her funeral.

I am from the box of black and white photographs from my Grandmother’s ancestors that was left in my Mother’s house, which I had the courage to dutifully sort through on the first Christmas Eve without my Mom. The house that held the 3 family Bibles that date from 1856, that are barely staying together, and the quilts finished and unfinished. I am from the washcloths and rags and nightgowns I now keep in my house to sniff and remind me of the fresh air and open fields of my home. I am from the matriarchs who raised me from my knees, whom I thought would be here to help me through my journey as a Mother of my 4 boys, but are not.

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57 Comments

  1. owlhaven says:

    How sweet that your dog is still in your dreams…and sad about your mom running off to Heaven unexpectedly. My dad did the same thing…he died in an accident when I was 21…

    Thanks for sharing this.

    Mary

  2. Elizabeth says:

    Thank you for sharing this.You are a wonderful writer.

  3. Donice says:

    This is a big undertaking; thanks for having the courage and the beautiful words to make it real. Save it for your children and grandchildren, because it’s part of what they’re from, too. They’ll be able to add that they’re from a mother who could face up to all the paradoxes of being a parent and make something lovely out of it.

  4. Charlotte says:

    Thanks for the inspiration, I did it too and as you predicted, I cried. It’s funny how the simple formula means you don’t explain anything, just dig deep into those memories and feel them so very intensely.

  5. Carmi says:

    This is utterly beautiful – and inspiring. My head is churning with ideas to write my own. I need to go off and mull over the possibilities for a bit.

    I can’t wait to read more here. You have a wonderful blog.

  6. Wonderful wonderful poem! You did an amazing job. I enjoyed every word.

  7. Jenny says:

    Really enjoyed reading this. Brought tears to my eyes.

  8. Leslie says:

    Very beautiful. Well written.

  9. B. Arnold says:

    What a lovely poem to read on a cold winter’s day. Just beautiful- You have a gift.

  10. Beautifully written. I know when I wrote my it felt like an excercise for a therapy group. It’s amazing how many layers can be there.

  11. Donice says:

    Congratulations, Susie, I voted for you and I hope you win; but as you say it doesn’t matter because you’ve done a beautiful thing.

  12. Claire says:

    Just wanted to let you know it brought tears to my eyes which is not good because I’m at work. And that was before I got to the part about your mum running off to heaven! So beautiful, thank you!

  13. msweet says:

    Very moving and reflective! It made me take a moment and relish in my childhood memories. You provided such strong visuals with warm emotions!
    We wish you our best!

  14. Paul N. says:

    Excellent. I’ll vote for you.

    I just wanna know how come I didn’t get to play. I didn’t know there was a contest or I would have joined you.

    Thanks for letting me know where to vote.

  15. Samm says:

    It’s beautiful. Makes me want to write one too

  16. Robert R. King says:

    Hi Suzie. Really enjoyed your article. It brought back a lot of good memories on our part, also. The picture helped, too. I think that was about the time Joy and I met your family, and we had some really good times together over the years. Especially the New Years Parties. Your Dad came down with Mono during one of those parties. You have our vote , Suzie and we wish you all the best. Bob

  17. Ken says:

    Congrats Susie…Loved It…..

  18. Nicola says:

    I am in awe of this…it reads like music for my eyes…

    Doesn’t hurt that I’m exactly the same enriched, gorgeous, intelligent, wise, humble vintage!

    thanks for linking to my site…and if you ‘ve got time – the culinoscarpies are waiting for a writer like you…

  19. Sarah says:

    Beautiful! The part about your tears splashing on your dad’s hand made me cry. Very bittersweet.

  20. Rory says:

    Truly beautiful. I felt like I was there. And your writing brings out a very touching sweetness.
    Thank you for sharing.

  21. Diana says:

    susie,

    Beautiful Susie. Your mom would be very proud of you but then she always was. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her. I miss our talks. She was a great neighbor for 20 + years. You have my vote!

  22. owlhaven says:

    You won!!!

    Congrats!

    Mary, mom to many

  23. Shirley Dunaway says:

    The article is so interesting and written in such a unique way.
    Congratulations.

  24. Donna W. says:

    Oh, I’m glad you won this! I didn’t vote, but when I came here to see the winner, I remembered this entry. It is so deserving! You and I have a few things in common, too. In some ways, I am from the same places you are from.

  25. D says:

    Congratulations! Well done!

  26. Rae says:

    Congratulations! Your writing is beautiful.

  27. Charlotte says:

    Congratulations! I’m thrilled that your beautiful piece of writing won.

  28. You won! Yay! Congratulations. You did a great job.

  29. Ann says:

    You won! Yay! Congratulations. You did a great job.

  30. Joseph Cookston says:

    Oh, Susie! My heart sang as I recalled the sights, sounds, smells and visuals of our growing-up community. I chuckled at your recounting of some of the same people I too vividly remember, especially the leopard skirt and suglasses. You caused me to pause and to remember and to be grateful. Thank you for your personal gift today. You have my vote.

    Joe Cookston
    Brookville, Ohio

  31. Sherry says:

    Your writing brings so many memories back to me of my childhood, and helps me picture what yours must have been. When I read your prose, I feel as if it is summer, with a blue sky and just enough heat to make a wonderful June day. Your boys will need to keep this in their memory books. They’re lucky to have such a wonderful writer for a mom!

  32. Ash says:

    I love this! I did mine about a year ago. It’s a great exercise :)

  33. Your #1 Fan says:

    Congratulations! Your won! Great new changes on your blog. All your hard work & long hours on the computer has really paid off. Exceptional coverage on so many different topics & beautifully written. If there was a blog contest, you would win!

  34. Mandy says:

    I really enjoyed that. Didn’t realize you were from 63, me too. I wrote one too, but never posted it, maybe someday I will….

  35. Unum says:

    Hi Susie!

    Great article! I loved all the beautiful imagery. Your writing is like a breath of fresh air. You have my vote and GOOD LUCK!

  36. NannyMolly says:

    I voted for you, of course! We support our blogging friends and especially winners with writing talent. We are telling all our Tribeca friends to vote for you too. Right now we are slogging through the snow and sleet and Nanny Tina has gone deep into the Internet to try and save Matt Drudge from himself. Until he is recovered, Nanny Tina won’t be available to cast her vote. Keep us posted and Good Luck!
    Cordially in Cashmere,
    Nanny Molly
    Co-CEO NannyWorld International
    Tribeca
    New York

  37. Dawn says:

    I read the ‘ku and came to read this – my heart completely understands.

  38. Piecake says:

    I shouldn’t have read this at work. People are wondering why I’m crying. Your poem is lovely.

  39. Kim says:

    ohhh Susie!
    I am adding your site to my favs! Came across it while searching for “best yoga DVDs” and boy am I glad. U wake up and think u will just be searching for yoga dvds, then you’re crying reading some chick’s blog. Where am I from??? I am from the land of early ambivalence to consequence as I skillfully write my full name in the freshly poured concrete outside my elementary school. :) Thank u for the gift of this site today.

  40. Justine says:

    This is amazing…so incredibly touching, I was in tears. It is a priceless treasure for your children and future generations in your family. What an incredible gift you have!

  41. This is still one of my all time favorite pieces on the Interwebs and any where!

  42. PTA mom,rYAN says:

    I love the basketball box! I was looking for something cool to do for my son for his Valentine box and found your site. He loves football so I thought we could do the same thing except put a field goal up instead. Thanks the help! I have bookmarked your site. Its great to have a mom that thinks outside the box. Thanks again

  43. Laurie says:

    I too am from this quiet ‘dry’ village with the 2 castles and June walking back and forth in front of my house! What a great place to grow up…so much that I moved back to raise my own 3 girls here. Loved reading your stories and bookmarked your page so I could continue!

  44. nikki says:

    here it is 4 years later I read this and did not read your blogs till just now. I cried so much as. I read this I just could not belive how much I related to all of this. I thought I was the only one in the world with such intense fond memories of my grandmother coupled with the pain of the loss of both my grandparents and mother. I had three wonderful people who left me all alone on this planet I too can remember the crisp air the curtains blew in from outside, that crisp summer spring time that you must have had the same memories

  45. Cami says:

    I googled “wash pesticides off fruit,” and found your site. I enjoyed reading a few more of your posts besides, and read your “About.” I really like that. And I wanted to say, “God will never give you more than you can handle” is a misquote – in my humble opinion, it is right for you to doubt it. ; ) The quote actually goes, “He will not allow you to be TEMPTED beyond what you can bear.” Years ago, when my son was young, he told me that the Mother Teresa quote, “I know God won’t give me any more than I can handle, I just wish He didn’t trust me so much” was wrong – he said it should go, “I know God WILL give me more than I can handle, I just wish He could trust me more.” And when you think of, “When I am weak He is strong,” it makes a good deal more sense the way my son put it. : ) Well, I just wanted to share this with you, and tell you to keep up the good work!

  46. Beth says:

    I too am from this quiet ‘dry’ village. Reading this brought back many fond memories. I drove around there today on my way to visit Wendy (Wendylyn’s World) and she told be about your blog. You have a great gift with words. “I am from” was a blessing to read. I didn’t know your mom had passed away. She was a neat lady. I remember playing “Flinch” with her and my mother. Keep writing Susie!

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