13 Ways To Trust Yourself
My husband has been out of town for two nights, and there are about 5 more days of travel ahead,
including the weekend. So, it’s up to me to juggle the boy’s after-school sports schedules, homework, questions to the teacher about their “extra-curricular” end-of-the-year projects. (Do teachers think May is actually December? Piling everything on in the nicest, prettiest, months of the year!) I find myself in bed at night, wondering why I’m hungry, and then realize, that I forgot to eat.
I’ve been here before — it’s a time when I feel as if I am outside of myself, looking in, trying to just “get through” they day. I’m not even aware that I need to eat, because I’m not living in my self. When I’m in this place, I can also find about 1 zillion other things that I think needs to be done, and I will begin to work on a solution for those things. This, I’ve learned, is a huge waste of time. Instead, I need to kick back, open up the bottled root beer and make root beer floats for me and my kids. We can just sit back and drink those school assignments away. Root beer demands that you slow down. Sassafras is what does it.
Oh, and yes, I’ve been calling the “Mommy card.” You know that one that says, “Nope, we’re just not going to make it to practice tonight, coach. We’re’ eating dinner together tonight instead.” If he were on an Olympic Team, I might feel differently. But he’s 8. Or, my favorite, a note to the teacher that’s just piling on a wee too much that says, “He needed his rest. He’ll work on it tomorrow.” At this point, he’s not going to get held back from Middle School. Moms can still have their influence.
I managed to pick up a book last night and read it. It’s called, Trusting Yourself: How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed and Live More Happily with Less Effort
“He who looks outside dreams. He who looks inside wakes.”
I can’t find the solution to any problem I have right now from the place I’m standing.
I think I don’t have time to slow down, and go inward and listen to whatever it is God is trying to tell me. But how can I afford not to take that time?
So, always one to look for the shortcut, I will list 13 practices of self-trust, from the book, Trusting Yourself. I will be honest here. With busy toddlers, and kids needing my hands to help build projects, clean-up and cook for them and, run them here and there, and my mind to solve their problems — I really do not have the luxury to take quiet minutes off to myself. But I know where not to find the answers. So pour yourself a root beer, and relax, and go through this list. It might help you someday.
- When Overwhelmed, Switch into Neutral. “Focus on your heart, get neutral, and ask yourself for the most important understanding you can gain.” (Doc Childre) Then wait for that message.
- Seek Help That Connects You to Your Wisdom, Not Someone Else’s.
- Stop to Reflect. “And since you know you cannot see yourself so well as by reflection, I, your glass, will modestly discover to yourself that of yourself which you yet know of.” William Shakespeare.
- What’s the Next Actionable Step? The problem is too big to manage today. But what small thing can you do today, and do only that.
- Fail on Purpose. “Nothing that has a soul is perfect… The marks life leaves on everything it touches transform perfection into wholeness in the things that they create.” Naomi Remen.
- To get Unstuck, Notice Where You’re Not Stuck.
- Put It on the Back Burner … But Don’t Turn the Burner Off. Sometimes taking a shower, going for a run, or listening to music and getting away from a problem often creates the climate for the answer to pop into your head.
- This Is What’s True For Me Right Now.
- If you have an inner critic, why can’t you have an inner booster?
- Be Like Julia Child. When things went wrong on her cooking show, and they often did, she took it in stride. Pulling out a fallen souffle’ in front of millions of viewers, this master chef exclaimed: “You can’t win them all!”
- If I didn’t have this problem, what would I be doing? Then do it.
- Is envy eroding your ability to trust yourself? Give a sincere compliment to the person who has stirred up those gremlins.
- Ask yourself: If I didn’t worry about anyone else’s approval or ask anyone else’s opinion, what would I do now?
So, are you looking from the outside, or from within? Read more, Thursday 13 entries, here.
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Wow this is a great/helpful list…I need to get this book! Thanks for sharing.
Great list..You sound so busy
I know how you feel. I think I’ll try to remember some of those, too.
Happy TT!
Girl, you are right on again! Good job. I’m going to print this for the next time I’m feeling overwhelmed…about 15 minutes from now! LOL Thanks for going to all this trouble when I KNOW you don’t have time!
[...] SusieJ has some tips on what to do when you are feeling overwhelmed. [...]
I was about to call a therapist (well, not really, but close) when I read your list. Just what I needed for today; my mood is dour. I can on today and cope a little better. Thanks.
(I love Dr. Remen, by the way. She’s a wonder.)
Susie! I just posted a comment and it disappeared so I hope I did not get caught up in the spaminator! This would be the second time today (not on your blog but another one.) Anyhoo- I loved this post and for the sake of not repeating myself, thanks for posting it during your busy day!
xo
Now, I will ask you what you asked me, How Do You Do All That?
But seriously, please do not forget to eat - it’ll keep you sane through the day.
I liked your list very much. For one, I have trust issues that’s exactly why I worry too much about everything.
But thank you for the 13 reminders
What a great post today! I love the posts that make me think.
Have no guilt pulling the mom card, sometimes you just need the afternoon where you are all home and can have meal together.
My husband commuted to Denver from NH when the boys were in elem and middle school. I made the call to the school about the ridiculous balsa wood project and no, we didn’t make the catapult that year. You do what’s important to your family. Hang in there, the book sounds helpful, trust your instincts.
This is a great list - sometimes when things are overwhelming me at work - I set them aside, when I come back the next day and I’m rested I can see the soloution a lot more clearly.
I am a stress magnet!
Wow , that was a great list. You obviosuly worked hard on it! Well done!
That ought to really help me with the stress, thanks.
I play the Mom card too.
Thanks. I wanted to remember the list. I thought the best thing was to summarize the book’s key points, and type them up. So I’d remember. It was a good exercise.
You keep such a good sense of humor through all the craziness!
And my favorite….if what I’m worrying about won’t matter 5 years from now, then it’s probably not worth worrying about all that much now!
Easier said than done, I know
Jessica The Rock Chick
[...] Just a part of what is causing me to spin a little out of control and rein myself back into balance. A fifth grade version of The Apprentice, that is a “rite of passage” for all. [...]
I dropped by your blog and caught up reading! I loved it! Your stories are precious and you sound like such a wonderful mother. I love finding other moms who feel about parenting the way I do. I too, often send notes to teachers or coaches, saying, “She’s having a Mommy night, she’ll do double homework tomorrow”. After all, she’s a kid. This overscheduling, homework packed life is too much for 7. My baby needs to play and grow. The rest will all fall into place. I remember my Dad letting me skip school to go on a fishing trip with him when I was in 3rd grade. And guess what-I turned out just fine.