Susiej

Now, I know it wasn’t very smart to sign up for another race on the day right after my first. But this one was personal. I grew up in a very quaint little town (still dry) that hosts a parade, lighting of the Christmas tree, a ham-and-bean-supper in the town hall, visit with Santa and Christmas stories in the Church — the day after Thanksgiving. Most of all this started after I left home, over 25 years ago. So, I never really “got it”. My Mom would always ask me to come over and bring the kids and see all of this stuff — I was only an hour away. Why didn’t I go? I honestly have no idea – we really weren’t doing anything that spectacular here. I finally went for the first time in 2005, the first Christmas without my Mom.

I was heartbroken to see all that I had missed — and she wasn’t there to see. I ran into people from my Church that helped raise me, old high school friends and neighbors. And there was no Mom, and I can’t describe the empty, aching feeling I felt.

Part of the Christmas celebration includes a Luminaria Run – which my husband participated in last year. This year, I needed to run in that race. As painful as it is, I love going back to see my Mom’s friends, and my old friends. And this year I was running through the pain of losing her.

Can you believe the run took me right past my Mom’s house? Two times? God, I would have loved to have seen her standing on the porch cheering me on. (My Uncle Carl said I should have ran in for a sandwich.)

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

Filed under: Laugh, Life, boy, health by SusieJ - 1 Comment →

I participated in my first running race today. I came in last out of my “team” of 7 – and I was happy to be done. I am not a runner. Why did I choose a 5-mile race to be my first? Not sure. My Ironman-husband trained me for a month – he had to walk beside me while I ran. I kept training because the race was a family event — part of the Thanksgiving Festivities – and it was fun calling my brother to find out how his training was going.

May time was 1:02 – and it took everything I had to get that far. After we started, I realized there was no way I could keep up with my brother – and he was at the back. There was one team member left, besides me, at the back. I had a buddy. I soon realized this was not something to be happy about. I figured we’d make it to the turnaround – 2.5 miles, and obviously take a break and walk for a while. But when I slowed down to walk – she gave me a look that clearly said “We’re not walking” I didn’t want to offend her — what is running etiquette anyway? But I knew that stopping was not her plan. My mind quickly raced to plans to “loose her.” Her shoes came untied twice – I got a little break there – but she was determined.

She finally pulled away from me – and yes I was still running when she did. I was happy to see her go. I would have shouted “Go Katie,” but I couldn’t – I was doing great just to breathe. Most of our 7-member team had already passed me and they were on their way back in. I did make it all the way to the Gatorade station—past the first turnaround before I stopped – and even then – the volunteers gave me a hard time about stopping.

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

Filed under: Laugh, Life, health by SusieJ - 2 Comments →

The AMERICAN EXPERIENCE on TV last night showed that Bobby Kennedy’s favorite poet was Aeschylus. He wrote: “In our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.”

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

Filed under: Life by SusieJ - No Comments →

A simple ten minute move of my dog’s life.  In those ten minutes, you realize that Max was a time marker. He goes through life so quickly, and we age so slowly, that we hardly notice the changes.

Max was 13 last summer, with tumors, and could no longer run. It was painful to watch him try to walk. My husband tried to avoid it as long as he could – but here we were – leaving for a 8 our plane trip to Idaho – packing 4 kids and ourselves – my husband nervous about competing in his first Ironman (hence the trip) — that’s the day we did it. Things were crazy, hectic – and nobody had time to grieve Max.

Our 4-year old, knowing that Max would soon be leaving us — started asking me questions – like “Did Max have any birthdays?” “Did you know that, one time, I saw Max RUN!!” He was pleading Max’s case. “Maybe Max isn’t OLD.”

Despite the flurry going on in our house, I captured his questions on my video camera. And there it stayed, in the middle of the excitement about the Ironman and our vacation.

I really didn’t know what to do with this portion of the tape – as it didn’t fit in with all the happy moments of the summer. But his words kept running through the back of my head.

I finally heard what he was really asking. “Mom, I don’t know Max – I’ve only known him 4 years out of the 13 he’s had. What was he like as a puppy? What did he look like when he ran? How is he different today.”

I answered my 4-year-old’s questions with a 10-minute DVD of Max’s life. And, it gave us a chance to grieve. The video runs pictures of Max as a puppy, interspersed with video of each of my 4 boys as babies climbing on Max. The song I chose? Elton John’s “Friends.” “It’s a crime that we should age (just as we watch the baby footage of each child have his turn jumping on Max) and “When you’re friends are there, everything’s all right.”

The video shows 13 years fast-forwarded into 10 lovely minutes, and you realize how fast time is moving every minute.

And it gently shows my 4-year-old that this was how Max used to be and it was time for Max to go.

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

Filed under: Life, Tears, boy by SusieJ - 2 Comments →

Picture this. It’s Thanksgiving Eve, and 14 guests will be arriving tomorrow — for a total of 20 including my family. It’s a beautiful, warm day. And instead of just being content with the Turkey and mashed potatoes, and the pumpkin pies 7 of us would win (hopefully) in the Turkey Trot Race the next morning — I couldn’t just let it rest. I had to “get the kids involved in the kitchen” and teach them how easy it was to make a pecan pie, and make a surprise lemon meringue pie for my brother. (In honor of what my Mom would have done for him.)

An hour later, the warm pecan pie is on the floor upside down, the meringue is bubbling over on the stove, and my 3-year old, wanting to be a part of the action, had pulled his stool over to the sink and broken the faucet. Water is spraying on the ceiling. The part, Kohler said, “would be delivered by Saturday.” (Do you have any idea how many times I had to mop the floor just to get the gummy syrup off the floor?)

Yes — I screamed and yelled.

As my husband’s car pulled into the driveway, my 3 year old said, “I’m going to tell on you for yelling at us.” And he did.

Thanks to my husband, my mother-in-law, my mop and my convivial guests — it all turned out OK.

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

Filed under: Laugh, Life, boy by SusieJ - No Comments →

I think it would have been easier to put a man on the moon than to get this site up. My passion for this overruled sleep, movies and lunch. I taught myself how to write html code, I read several web site design books — including “BLOGGING FOR DUMMIES” — I made 92 web pages that failed before this one was ready. In the process, I also managed to corrupt my entire operating system and had to open that set of discs that comes with your computer that says “reinstallation files.”

Maybe it was because I haven’t given birth in the last 3 years — I needed something to create. Creating this site involved a lot of typing — basically resulting from the fact that I do a lot of research. Once I find something, I like to archive it. It’s actually what motivated me to do this site — I have so many remedies I use for colds, flu, rashes, odors, cleaning — and I needed to write them all down. I like the idea of writing all this stuff down — and I look forward to adding. The web is a great place for the kind of work I’m doing. Thank you to my friend, BC, who had just the right amount of twinkle in her eye to keep me running when I told her about my “idea”. And thank you God, for the beautiful day that gave me the inspiration.

Bookmark to:

Hide Sites

Filed under: Life, blog by SusieJ - No Comments →