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The latest:

The latest on the doghouse dilema:

  • My 11 year old says we can tape the game and watch it later — so, he’s going to the play. He is a sweet kid.
  • My husband will probably go to the play, although he’s hesitant. He’s worried about walking out of the play and the drive home, and someone in this hyped-up town giving everything away. He will probably find out who won before he can watch the taped game. But, in this over-hyped-sports town, I think it’s a good message for a our kids to say that “sports are not everything.”
  • The 8-year-old is feeling over-whelmed. He wants to see the play, but the idea of missing a couple of hours of a sleepover is quite a bit more than I think an 8-year-old can bear. So, I told him not to worry about it, and have a good time with his friends.
  • The 5-year-old definitely wants to see Wizard of Oz.
  • And the 3-year-old, well he has a date with Vanessa, and couldn’t be happier.

In the WSJ this week, a berry that might help finicky eaters?

There is nothing I love more than putting down The Red Wolf, (a fascinating read, by the way), and picking up my all time favorite newspaper, the The Wall Street Journal, and finding this:

  • Wearing panythose with sandals or open-toe shoes is fashionable. But not everyone (middle-age) is comfortable going barelegged. So, you can now buy Toeless Hose, that allow you to show off your pedicure while giving your legs a finished look. However, the elastic loop is uncomfortable. Hanesbrands Inc., say, “sales of reinforced hosiery have fallen sharply in recent years.”
  • Before you have your gallbladder removed, a quick x-ray (called, intraoperative cholangiogram) can prevent a common bile-duct injury. How common? 1 in 200. However, many surgeons still disagree that it’s useful. (March 28, 2007)
  • Parents are sick of school fund-raisers. Schools only get to keep, on average, less than 50% of the money raised, according to the Association of Fun-Raising Distributors & Suppliers. The rest goes to

[Read more →]

The Irrationality of Motherhood

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The end of the day comes, exhausted from four boys who play and climb all day. I put them in jammies, and send them off to meet the sandman, and I breathe a sigh of relief. I know that sleep makes little boys turn into men. Watching them grow breaks and stretches my heart. So, why the rush every night to get them to sleep?

In response to PBN’s question, The truth about Motherhood, for Discovery Health, in the form of a Koan, prompted by Her Bad Mother.

Recipe for Tapioca Pudding, stove top method

Earlier this week, I posted my recipe for making the creamiest, fluffiest, Tapioca Pudding in the Slow Cooker. But if you’re really short on time, here’s Bob’s Red Mill Recipe, for How to Make Tapioca Pudding on the stove top. This recipe also involves separating the egg and beating the whites. This one will take more stirring, but at least it will be ready in about 45 minutes. Did you know that in Southern India, tapioca is used to make a light porridge to help people recovering from illness?

  • 2 1/4 cups milk (Low fat will not hurt this pudding.)
  • ¾ cup water
  • ½ cup sugar
  • ¼ teaspoon salt
  • 2 eggs separated
  • 1/3 cup small pearl tapioca (not instant)
  • 1-teaspoon vanilla

Soak small pearl tapioca in water for 30 minutes in a ½ quart saucepan.
Add milk, salt, and lightly beaten egg yolks to tapioca and stir over medium heat until boiling. Simmer uncovered over very low heat for 10-15 minutes.
Stir often.
Beat egg whites with sugar until soft peaks form.
Fold about ¾ cup of hot tapioca into the egg whites, and then gently fold mixture back into saucepan.
Stir over low heat for about 3 minutes.
Cool 15 m minutes then add vanilla
Serve warm or chilled, plain or with nutmeg or coconut mixed in.
Makes 3 ½ cups.

Like I said yesterday, in the Spring, this is like eating a “cloud in a bowl.”

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I am definitely in the dog house

Our very important babysitter, who 8 years ago, when he was ten and my second son was an infant, wanted very much to be my helper, and quickly learned to manage all four of my boys, is now quite an actor.

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He is hands-down, my boys’ favorite babysitter. He has seen me through the dark witching hours of many afternoons, made duct tape wallets for my boys, taught them how to play hide-and-seek with our dog, and given my husband and me our much needed “dates” every now and then. He will be heading to college this Fall, probably on an acting scholarship.

How was I to know, months ago when I bought the tickets to see him in his final performance here, as the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz, that it would be the very same night as THE GAME. How was I supposed to know that our home town team would make it to the Final Four? How was I supposed to know that my 8-year-old would be invited to his best friend’s house, with 3 other buddies for his second sleep-over the very same night?
The men in my house are very upset. But it is our last chance to see him perform before he makes it big on Broadway. What’s the problem? I mean, the game can be taped, right?

How to make Tapioca Pudding in the Slow Cooker

This easy recipe makes the fluffiest, creamiest tapioca pudding – almost like eating a cloud. The secret is to separate the egg, and beat the whites. Tapioca pudding is great for kids, because it’s full of protein and calcium too. And using the crockpot takes 2 hours of hands-off cook time. No need to stand at the stove and stir, as the crockpot gently “steams” the pudding and does all the work for you. This tapioca pudding recipe is adapted from Not Your Mother’s Slow Cooker Cookbook
Ingredients:

  • 2 cups milk
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 1/4 small pearl tapioca (not instant)
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 large egg
  1. Coat the slow cooker with a light rubbing of light olive oil.
  2. Combine the milk, only ¼ cup of the sugar, tapioca, and vanilla in the slow cooker;
  3. Stir well with a whisk.
  4. Cover and cook on low until the milk is absorbed, the pudding thickened, and most of the tapioca balls are completely transparent. Should take about 1-½ hours.
  5. Separate the egg.
  6. Beat the whites with the remaining ¼ cup of sugar until soft peaks form.
  7. Beat the yolks with a fork to break up any clumps.
  8. Spoon a few tablespoons of the hot tapioca into each of the egg mixtures and beat well; pour both egg mixtures into the cooker and stir well with a spoon or spatula to combine.
  9. Cover and cook on low for another 30 minutes.
  10. Turn off the cooker and let the pudding cool, partially covered for 30 minutes.
  11. Serve warm or chilled.

This recipe serves 4, so in my house, this recipe is doubled, and I increase the cooking time by an hour. I love to make Tapioca Pudding for my kids in the spring – after they tangle their kites in the backyard, and look up at the clouds. When they come inside, I give them this “cloud in a bowl.” Coming up in my next posts – the stovetop method for tapioca pudding, and the recipe for Magic Islands, another high-protein “cloud in a bowl” favorites.

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Real Moms Spend the Night at the Zoo

I have a pretty good idea what a Real Mom Does. She hides things – like scissors, post-its, and chocolate so they are out of harms way, and Real Moms cannot remember where they’ve hid them, and just when they think they’ve lost their minds, the missing items miraculously show up in the hands of their children, and wrappers are found behind the sofa. And Real Moms get their teeth cleaned at the Dentist, with one on her lap, one playing in the “spitter” and the other two fighting over the toys in the “treasure chest.”But here’s one, and I have a picture (I’m cheating a little, because I was behind the camera.) Real Moms spend the night at the ZOO. Now, that’s one heck of a field trip. Real Moms feel guilty because they are so busy nursing and caring for the little ones, and never get the chance to go to school functions and field trips with their older ones. So, when the once in a lifetime (actually 3 more times coming) chance comes to go on a field trip when Daddy’s home (because he will be SLEEPING!) Real Moms jump at the chance and say YES — I’ll go!! Where do I sign? zoosleepover.gif

Even though the temperature is 28 degrees F, and she must answer questions at 10:30 at night about adaptation and habitat. (After her brain is melted by this time of day from answering Real Mom questions all day long, like “Why is red red?”) Even when she must sit in a closed classroom at 11 p.m. and watch armadillos and snakes and lizards and hawks parade past her.

And she stays, after she watches the guide put the snake into a cooler, and watches this guide immediately jump on the lid to sit on it while this guide locks the cooler, and explains, “we have to keep a weight on the cooler because the snake has figured out a way to get out.” And Real Moms stay even after they learn that this snake, in its cooler, will be sharing the building with us tonight.

And Real Moms sleep in this room, full of 10-year-old boys, some Dads, and more 10-year-old girls, and less Moms, on an air mattress. She suddenly realizes, she is not who she thought she was after all; she is really, the Princess from the Princess and the Pea. And the room is hot, the room is full of snoring Dads that are not “Daddy’s snores”, and lying there awake because every time she opens her eyes, she sees some pair of eyes on her from afar.

And Real Moms stay, and believe it was one of the greatest nights of their life. Because, you see the 10-year-old, who is busy hanging out with his peers, trying to be cool the whole night, catches her Mom’s eye every once in awhile, to make sure she’s watching him, and she is, and she knows it means the world to him that she’s here with him. Now, that’s a Real Mom.

I’ve been tagged. This is a blogging game, and this particular version is called, Real Moms “fill in the blanks” and add a picture. I was tagged because my Masthead is so beautiful, by my new best friend, Amanda.

So, I must admit, I had a hard time coming up with a picture. So maybe it’s Real Moms don’t have pictures of themselves.Now it’s my turn to tag five other people: (Please, just laugh, if you’ve already been tagged — I’m awful about keeping up on everyone else’s blogs.)

  1. First, I introduce you to SouleMama who is, I think, although very young, a very wise Real Mama who sews, takes beautiful pictures of what I thought was ordinary clutter, and transforms it into some magical connection she has with her children. Go read her, Morning Light with my Girl.
  2. And because she keeps it real every day, no one knows more about Real Moms than Pioneer Woman.
  3. And Michelle, at la vie en rose, who knows — really knows that Real Moms get their power from beauty.
  4. And Christine a Mom who is an artist with words. And because I break all the rules — and these Moms are awesome, here’s more than five:
  5. 3 boys and a Lady
  6. Jen
  7. A California Working Mom’s Mess
  8. Wife Mom Manic

Go, read the rules here: Mom Trap.

Matchmaking 101

5: “Who are you going to marry?”

3: “Zach.” (This is the 11-year-old, who is now fixing the 3’s belt.)

5: “You can’t marry Zach. You have to marry a guurrl.”

3: “Then, I’m going to marry Vanessa.” (The babysitter.)

5: “She’s WAAAYY too older for you. She will already be married before you. She has to be 3.”

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Processing

The Minister didn’t know her that well. It’s OK — it happens all the time at funerals, I’m sure. He talked about her patience, her talent, — and then he said how she, as a Mother “had to get stern, and tough, sometimes…” That was the red flag.

So I asked her son, my cousin, “Tell me about those times your Mom got stern and tough,” because maybe her son knows things I don’t know about her. He said yes — sometimes she would get really tough, and say in a little bit louder than her normal soft tone, “Go to your room.”

OK. That’s what I thought.

The funeral procession was interesting. She moved about 35 miles and two towns away from the home town. So the funeral service was in her new city, but she wanted to be buried back in the home town. Who could blame her? Her husband and daughter are there, my Mom, and their brother and Mom and Dad are there. The town is cute enough, and the cemetery sits on top of this huge hill, and looks down on valley after valley — amazing. Definition: Breathtaking and peaceful. (I should buy a plot there. Scary.)

The funeral procession had to go through these 30 some odd miles, through lots of red lights, some highways, and one-lane roads. Some people pulled their cars over and stopped as we passed. Others ignored us. Some stopped and saluted us. Some people passed the cars that were pulled over, and others tried to merge into the processional as the highway narrowed down to two lanes. As we got closer to my home town, the number of cars who stopped and pulled over increased. Small-town manners.

One car, merged right in front of us, and had to stay in the one-line processional for about 12 miles (and enjoyed cruising through the red lights). I think my Aunt enjoyed his company. She was like that. To call her tolerant is the least you could call her. My boys were in the backseat calling this guy “a cheater.”

My husband and my brother were both Pall Bearers. As they got into place, I suddenly realized that I have no idea, to this day, who the Pall Bearers were for my Mom’s funeral. My brother and husband, later, said the same thought came to him at the same time.

So odd for my two remaining Aunts and two Uncles — watching some of the 3 younger sibblings go before them. And I can just imagine my Grandma — up there, or wherever she is. “Where did I go wrong? I thought I had all these kids raised, and now they’re all coming back home.”

joyce1.gifHer daughter, Joyce, who died at 18. Her Mother begged her not to go out that night — the roads were too bad.

Almost two years later, I am surprised to find that I am doing very well. I stood at my Aunt’s graveside, one grave over from my Mom’s, and I was OK with it. Yes, I am very, very hurt that she’s not here to share memories with us, and my youngest will not know her. But, I have made my peace with it — as much as can be expected. I think my relatives were surprised by that — after seeing what a blubbering mess I was two years ago. I’m surprised. I had no idea how much the human heart could break. I had no idea how much the human heart could heal.

Feeling peaceful. Feeling held by something so mysterious.

Read more, Read more: Seasons
and Saying Goodbye

Saying Goodbye

My Aunt died today. I’m too tired and worn out to tell you how precious she was to me in beautiful, heartfelt prose. So, instead, I’ll just list what I remember about her.

She liked to take me to “town” with her when I was little, and she bought me bags of peanut clusters, in a white paper bags from the JCPenny soda fountain

I have several Afghans she knitted — she was very precise and her eye for color was very good.

Out of all of my 12 or so Aunts and Uncles, she still brought me Christmas and Birthday presents, even after I was “too old” for them.

She had 3 children of her own. Her oldest daughter died when she was a senior in High School in a car crash. I was very small when Joyce died. I still have Joyce’s sweater — it’s a sage-green, the fuzzy wool from the 60s, that her Mom knitted for her. My Grandmother used to keep some of Joyce’s hair in an envelope on her dresser.

After that, she always used to say, “God never gives you more than you can handle.”

She stood up with me at traffic court. I got a speeding ticket before I was 18, and it was required by law that you appear in person to get a lecture from a judge. I was terrified to go; so she went with me.

I lived with her for a little while when I was putting myself through college. I used to get home around 11 at night. She always waited up for me, and my dinner plate was waiting. She would warm it up in the microwave, pull herself from the nightly news and sit with me while I ate.

She had diabetes, and was in very poor health most of her life. But never really complained about that.

Once, when I had the flu, and was “overwhelmed” (Ha!) with only two boys to take care of, my Aunt and Mom came over to help me. My aunt came down with the flu the next day.

When she was about 10 years old, she picked up the hurricane globe of their oil lamp. She didn’t realize it was hot. She was afraid to drop it, because they couldn’t afford to replace it. So she kept it in her hand until she walked over to the bed to drop it safely on the bed. She had a pretty bad burn.

Two years ago, when my Mom was in the hospital, my Aunt and her daughter came over to visit my Mom. They stopped on the way to pick me up to come along with them. (My Mom was 15 years younger than her.) When my Aunt climbed the steps of my patio, she fell, and gashed her head open. The EMS was called, and she was taken to the same hospital where my Mom was being treated. They kept my Aunt at the hospital overnight for observation — she thought she’d see my Mom in the morning. My Mom died that night in the hospital. I was by her side. I always liked the thought that her sister was under the same roof with her too.

Her “sugar” was not right, and her doctor wouldn’t release her from the hospital. So, she got up out of her bed and left on her own. How could she miss her sister’s funeral?

It’s not coming through here — maybe I’ll do better in another post — with a photo of her — but she was very, very funny. Very silly. And you couldn’t spend time with her for very long without laughing very, very hard — at absolutely nothing. I can remember several moments with her, her daughter, and my Mom — the four of us, laughing that contagious laugh, hoping we would not pee our pants.

I’m grateful that she died uneventfully, in her sleep.

If anyone from my home town is reading this, please save the Examiner for me, as I’d like to have a copy of her obituary. Her name was Helen. Thanks.

Read more: Processing
and Seasons

How to clean bacteria off fruits and vegetables

Here are three ways to wash pesticides off produce, that are backed by science. Now that my post yesterday, Is Organic Food Healthier, explained that all produce, organic or not, can contain some chemicals, what is the best and safest way to wash those pesticides off fruits and vegetables? Think about it — all produce is covered with micro organisms from soil, fungi, dust and bacteria-causing germs. And, what about hands of the person who picked, packed and put the food on the shelves? Did they wash their hands?

Water or A Commercial Cleaning Solution?
The University of Maine Cooperative Extension Office did a study comparing water and commercial cleaners for fruits and vegetables. Here’s the results:

  • Fit® washes got rid of roughly the same amount of microbes as distilled water.
  • Both Fit® and distilled water reduced the level of residual pesticides compared to the unwashed samples.
  • Both ozone systems—the Ozone Water Purifier XT-301 and the J0-4 Multi-Functional Food Sterilizer—removed microbes from the blueberries. However, the distilled water wash was more effective than either of the ozone washes.
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    I also found this recipe developed by Susan Sumner, a food scientist at Virginia at Polytechnic Institute and State University, to clean fruits and vegetables. Her disinfecting procedure uses white vinegar (or cider vinegar) and 3 percent hydrogen peroxide (the same as found at the drugstore). These are nontoxic, inexpensive and work not only on fruit and vegetables but can be used to sanitize counters and preparation surfaces, including wooden cutting boards, as well. Here’s the method:

  • Put the vinegar and hydrogen peroxide into individual dark-colored spray bottles (You might be able to put a clean, new Sprayer right on the hydrogen peroxide bottle.
  • Spray your produce or work surface thoroughly first with vinegar and then with hydrogen peroxide.
  • Then rinse the produce under running water or wipe the surface with a clean wet sponge.
  •  

    To learn more, keep reading below


    Here is another recipe that is safe and inexpensive, and made from ingredients you already have in your kitchen. It is a diluted form of hydrochloric acid to wash off pesticides:

  • Fill your kitchen sink with cold water.
  • Add four tablespoons of salt and the juice of half a fresh lemon.
  • Soak fruits and vegetables five to ten minutes (leafy greens two to three minutes and berries one to two minutes)
  • Rinse well after soaking and use.
  • What about soap and water? Cornell University studied that one for us. They did agree that “a detergent solution may remove more bacteria (and perhaps some pesticide residues, as well), they also caution that soap is not intended for this use. Once it gets onto some kinds of foods, it is more difficult to remove than it is from dishes and it can make people sick.” And don’t use bleach either, for the same reasons.

    Easier yet, follow these guidelines for cleaning produce from the University of Maine:
    * Wash your hands before preparing food.
    * Soak all produce for one to two minutes in distilled water to reduce the risk of food-borne illness.
    * Why use distilled water? Because distilled or bottled water has been filtered and purified to remove contaminants.
    * For produce with thick skin, use a vegetable brush to help wash away hard-to-remove microbes.
    * Some produce should not be soaked in water. Put fragile produce in a colander and spray it with distilled water.
    * Clean your counter top, cutting boards, and utensils after peeling produce and before further cutting. Bacteria from the outside of raw produce can be transferred to the inside when it is cut or peeled. Wash kitchen surfaces and utensils with hot, soapy water after preparing each food item.
    * Eating on the run? Fill a spray bottle with distilled water and use it to wash apples and other fruits.
    * Don’t forget that homegrown fruits and vegetables should also be well washed.

    And this is to my 4 boys, and to my husband who grab fruit off roadside stands: Yes, you need to wash the peel of an orange that you’re not going to eat. You peel it with you hands, the germs are on your hands, and you eat with your hands. Consider the melon, sitting in soil. You cut through the rind with your knife, which picks up the micro organisms, and puts them right into the fruit.