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You must stay for at least one sunset

This is for my Dad; who will be 69 on Sunday, and isn’t sure yet if he can stay with us for one night at the lake. I hope these pictures, of a summer of sunsets, will help to change his mind.

I know the drive is far up here to the lake. I know you want to hurry and get back home before it gets too late. But, you owe yourself at least this much. Stay for at least one sunset.

No two are alike.

But sunsets at the lake tend to stay and settle in your heart.

And they pull you back for

yet another

visit
to the lake.

You’re not cheating your kids are you?

Of course you aren’t. Because you understand that giving your child a set of chores to do each night gives them life-long skills that will enhance their lives, spare them from pink boxers, and even enrich their marriage.

Some kids are getting cheated… a lot of them. A study of 1,343 children by the Maryland Population Research Center at the University of Maryland, found a 12% decline  in the time children spend on chores since 1997 and a 25% drop from 1981 levels, according to the Wall Street Journal.

Now the kids aren’t even learning how to properly sweep the floor, sort the garbage, or dry the dishes, and this lack of knowledge, the WSJ says, will have negative implications in society as this generation ages. A study of 506 U.S. couples published in 2006 in the American Journal of Sociology revealed that U.S. marriages tend to be more stable when men participate more in domestic tasks.

What are the kids doing instead?  The WSJ cites more “worthy pursuits” such as reading, studying and youth groups. The article failed to mention, “time playing the Wii.”

Nor, did the article mention the truth.  Kids aren’t doing as many chores today because Moms of this generation got smart.  If you want something done right; do it yourself. This will save you time in the long haul.  The bathroom really will be clean and fresh; and so will the floor, and back of the toilet and under the seat, if you do it. This is far too important a job to leave to the kids.

So, inspired by the research, and not wanting to be responsible for any future martial conflict in their lives, I dug around and found it in my heart to spare a chore for one of the kids. My five-year old packed our lunches for the car trip during our recent exodus from the lake. He carefully made us ham and cheese sandwiches, patiently asking each person what they would like: Pickles? Mustard? Jelly? Once he was done, he labeled each bag with our name and carefully put them on each of our respective seats in the van.

He also knocked over the carton of oatmeal, while I was moping the floor, so the oatmeal got wet, he stepped in it…. you get the picture.

Did I eat my sandwich? No. As soon as I heard his starving, famished teen-aged brother with the bottomless pit of a stomach start asking everyone, “Are you going to eat that?,” I passed mine on to him. I didn’t have the heart to eat it.

Man Jack Soap is the new black

Dove Soap seems to be his favorite. I picked up a tiny Dove sample at the doctor’s office, and it sits in his soap collection box, right beside the “daddy” Dove soap. This is next to the Irish Spring, the Oil of Olay and the Ivory. He didn’t like the Johnson’s Baby bar too much at first, and offered it to me as a present. Then, he changed his mind, and took it back. Can I just add here, that since he started carrying that Irish Spring, Deers have stayed clear away from him… as if that was EVER an issue.

One would think Bath and Body Works, the Mecca of cleanliness, would be a haven of bar soap shapes and colors. But alas, I’ve learned this is not the case. They carry only two bars of soap in t-h-e e-n-t-i-r-e store; and they were ugly. Bars are out, I’m telling you. Just talk to any clerk at Bath and Body Works, and she’ll tell ya’.

At Target the pickins’ were slim.Sure, they had all the major brands – Dial, Dove and Ivory – but I needed something special. I almost picked up Aveeno’s oatmeal bar; but it wasn’t spiffy enough.

Finally, I hit the jack pot. I found these two cute pink whales.

They’re a little nicked up; but they should incite some glee in his heart.
Further down the aisle, I entered the dark side, and found Every Man Jack Soap.

What is so great about this soap is that the soap has texture to make it actually look like wood grain. My boy will recognize, and appreciate the care, quality and forethought that went into the making of this soap.

This I expect from a kid who uses his Dove soap box as a bank to hold his birthday money, and his frog sale money.


Because, on his birthday, I just want him to know that I “hear him.” I know where’s he’s coming from; and if you want soap, Lunar Baby, I’ll get you some soap.

P.S. I’m giving away the latest Veggie Tale DVD this week.  Click here for more information.

When the water is this clear

Friends are easy to find.

Wordless Wednesday

When things look fuzzy

At first, I was sure it was a headache; you know, the kind anyone would get when kids shove 8 1/2 x 11-sized sheets in front of your face; in the summer heat, during the witching hour, at the same time. The words were blurry, and just too darn close to be seen; they were wavy, and blurry, like underwater. Reading them was painful.

So, the ophthalmologist was right; I need bifocals.

I was sure I would escape this. The whole point of doing yoga everyday is just to trick my spine into believing I’m younger than the 46 years I really am. The spine is the center of the nervous system; trick the spine, and everything else follows — even the eyes, I believed.

Grudgingly, I found myself a nice sexy pair of black bifocals, which my husband adores, but I can never find when I need them. I should get myself one of those old-lady chains. The kids are having a ball with the glasses; but of course, the oldest looks at me with that questioning look; is she crazy or absolutely normal? I think he goes for the former. All four of them are somehow captivated and bewildered with my sudden blindness; yet they persist to shove those papers in front of my face.

Reading forms and papers and books takes way too much time now. I can’t find the glasses, ever. I try to hold the paper far away from my face, but my arms just aren’t long enough to reach that far.

It’s an uncomfortable hazy feeling of mystery to not see what was once so plain and clear. The only way to get back control is to pull other resources that are lying dormant in my brain. Reasoning.

This is true with life. The older I get, the more I see that the obvious answer doesn’t lie on the surface; it’s hidden, yet so clearly there.

The truth is, I don’t think of myself as grown-up enough to slow down, to pay attention to the undercurrent that runs everything that’s happening. I’m not ready to sit back and find that quiet place where you wait for the truth to rise to the surface.

Whether I’m ready or not; my eyes are taking me to that slower place. Bifocas are my constant reminder to wait for that truth to appear; and it does appear, all on its own, in its own time.

Who knew? This is what’s life like with bifocals.


Best Shot Monday

Mom, I have some good news, and I have some bad news

After all that drama of the first day of school, the teacher pulled me aside, and said, “Your son had to go to the bathroom quite a bit today, and it seemed unusual, so I thought I better let you know.”

“Thanks for telling me,” I said.

I noticed this last week at the lake. Then, I asked him, “Does it burn when you go?” His answer, No, left me thinking it was just a phase. So, now that the teacher noticed it too, I called a doctor, and had an appointment that very afternoon.

How ironic that I found myself sitting alone, staring into those brown eyes of the one boy I missed so much, in the waiting room of the doctor’s office, free of interruptions, while he talked, and talked and talked and talked about his grand day.

And we waited… over an hour. He peed 15 times while we waited. Just a dribble; but he peed. Sometimes, by the time he was done washing his hands, he had to pee again. The nurses laughed and laughed.

Finally, they called us back to see the doctor, who had already read the lab results of his urine, and was thankfully telling me that there was no infection, and no sign of diabetes.

The doctor and I have been intimately connected via my children for the last 12 years. She has stood by me through mysterious diagnosis after mysterious diagnosis; she calms my fears, and she knows me, just as well as she knows my kids. She was quick to notice my “puffy eyes.”

“He’s nervous,” she said. “About all the stress about starting school. This is very common… it’s called frequency urination syndrome.”
“Oh no. He’s not nervous about school. Besides, this started before school started.”
“Well, he knows… it’s the upcoming stress.”
“But he’s not nervous.”
Meanwhile, my son runs out of the room to pee again.
“Well, he senses that you’re nervous, and that’s making him react by peeing all the time.”
“No, you don’t understand. He knows I’m nervous, and he likes that. I’m nervous for him, so he doesn’t have to be nervous. You see, he has me right where he wants me.”

My son is back, so she puts him up on the table to examine his belly, by pressing around. He doesn’t giggle. It hurts.  “Oh,” she says, “He’s constipated. He’s so constipated that his bowels are pressing against his bladder, and making him feel as if he has to go.”

So, like I said, he was not nervous. He’s just full of poop.

She explains that I’ll need to put the Benefiber in his water… for about a week or two.

And it’s working. This morning, we’re running out the front door with all the kids, heading off for our morning walk to school, and he said, “Mom! I have good news, and I have some bad news. The good news is I have to go poop. The bad news is, we’re going to be late for school.”