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Sadly, he went back to school today

At breakfast, I realized that the bits of poison ivy that spotted his legs had spread, and he couldn’t stop scratching. There was no possible way I could send him to school.

Hearing the verdict, his mouth spread into a grin. A wave of contentment settled around, and he immediately asked to watch a movie. I reminded him of my no-screen rule, of course.

So, he pulled out the wooden trains and started to build, cloistered himself, with his brother, in a room in the basement while they built. Soon, he announced that he was ready for me to take a look.

Behind the door, I saw yet another of his elaborate train track structures, but this time, the track was surrounded by Christmas ornaments he had pulled from the storage boxes.

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They even took the time to pull out Christmas photo of his older brothers, and placed it on display.

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This was his make-shift Jack-in-The Box.

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His nutcrackers took center stage in the middle of circular tracks.

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“It’s Christmas Mom,” he said. It was Instant Christmas on May 28, 2009.

My favorite is the propped flashlights he used to evoke “Christmas lights.”

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Then, he said, “Time for the snow,” and he switched on the fan to give the effect of a cold winter breeze.

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For lunch we headed upstairs for corndogs, watermelon and hot chocolate with marshmallows.

I found it difficult this morning to announce that his poison ivy was better, and that today he was returning to school

Someday, I will have a pretty garden

My Uncle has a way of conveying, without arrogance, his wisdom from his 80-plus years of living, in a gentle way. He bestows his knowledge quietly, without force, and only years later, if you were smart enough to put his advice to work, do you realize you have been given a gift that continues to multiply in benefits

I transplanted my grocery bag plants three weekends ago at the lake, during 20 mile per hour winds. In the beginning, I planned to be neat and precise; making distinct rows and covering each row with weed cover in a methodical system. But after the wind blew sand into my eyes enough times, I gave up, settling for the fact that at least the roots were covered, and the rows were straight — but not neat. The wind and the cold tired me out, and by the time I was finished, I didn’t bother to cover the plants with chicken wire for added protection. I did leave behind a few boxes of Irish Spring Soap, but that was about it. And then we left the plants alone for three weeks to fend for themselves against the elements.

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Yes, that is a shark that my garden assistant is holding.

When I arrived Memorial Day Weekend, I was surprised to learn that the plants did survive, as the pests left my plants intact. However, the leaves on my plants were yellow and dry. Spring rains did not come. The soil at the lake is sandy, and holds little water. When Uncle Bud arrived, a day ahead of me, he took the time to carry buckets of water from the lake, all the way up the hill to water my garden. “Lake water is better than any water you can get from your hose.”

Later, my uncle pulled me aside, and said, “Where are all the leaves you bagged?” They’re still in bags, still decomposing.

“Get them out,” he said. “The leaves will hold water and keep your plants moist.” Then, in a tone a father reserves for when he’s about to tell his child that a beloved pet has died, he begins, “Well, you see, Susie, when you have a garden, you need to be there… you know, water it everyday. It’s kind of hard to keep things going when you’re not here. Your garden is fine, but remember, it’s going to need some extra help when you are here. And you need to start saving your kitchen scraps… you need to build… some soil.”

His kindness always touches me; the way he offers advice without offending. He could have said, “Gardens don’t make it when you’re not here to water it. So, why put yourself through so much trouble, and give up this crazy idea.” But he didn’t. Instead, he watered my plants himself, with lake water; this required great effort on his part, as the garden is up the hill, away from the lake. He has faith in the plants too, just like me.

He has gardened more years than me, so I dumped my bags of leaves on the soil around my plants. To keep the leaves from blowing away, I covered them with the cardboard that wasn’t used for the boy’s fort. “Cardboard will help,” he said. “Holds the moisture, and attracts the worms you need.”

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But cardboard doesn’t look “nice.” Still, I can’t argue with the fact that while I’m not here to tend to the garden, the cardboard can hold the moisture.

By the end of the three-day weekend, the leaves were starting to brighten to a lime green, rather than chartreuse. It’s not a pretty garden, but as soon as the green beans and corn start growing around the walls of the fort, things will begin to look lush and full; just as they did last year. I even spotted the beginning stages of a bean.

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I think my uncle – I claim him as mine, but he’s really my husband’s uncle — is so patient with his advice is because he is not attached to the outcome. He could really care less whether I add the leaves or not; nature will teach me what I have yet to learn. He’s free, like the Buddha. A quality I’m sure he didn’t set out to acquire; but one that grew with the failing rain, over time.

Someday my garden will be pretty; but for now, we’re busy building the foundation.

What is thunder again?

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In the midst of a busy life, take some time to be a kid again.

Today the weatherman is calling for thunderstorms. I imagine myself curling up on the screened porch under a cozy blanket reading a scary fairy tale to the kids. Soon, they’ll start asking me “what is thunder again?”  By now there are so many variations the boys have heard that there is no clear consensus.  My original version, “God is just moving his furniture,” has been replaced with one the older boy’s picked up at school:  “Chuck Norris is taking a walk.” As the boys truly have no idea who Chuck Norris is, they assume he is some mythic gigantic icon, sort of like Paul Bunyan, and this description of thunder seems to quiet them and leave them in a state of awe.

Sweet Sixteen

Dear Kids,

The three days that herald Memorial Day Weekend leave us full of greed, year after year. All winter long, we hunger for these 3 days so that we can hammer through so many of the warm weather projects that we can’t touch all winter.

This year, we were blessed with warmth and your feet pattered around the grass barefoot. As we plowed through one task through the next, I reached that tipping point when one task piled on top of another so quickly that I questioned my own stamina for handling the work required to handle a lake house.

Charlie, the Heron, visited us.

All day long you played. You used the boxes from the furniture we bought to build a horrendous fort in the basement – the bunk room. Most of your time was spent at the neighbor’s building a “lake” on the edge of the lake out of sand. I worried about you and skin cancer all day long; do you have enough sunscreen? Did I miss that spot above your upper lip where cancer attacked me? Is it time for more? When I went down to your “lake” to apply your second helping of sunscreen, sand was impossible to separate from your skin and the sunscreen, so I ended up rubbing it all in together to create a combination mud mask, sunscreen. I wonder, how do you interpret that? Certainly not as an act of desperate protection from someone who loves you. You don’t have the perspective yet.

When I wasn’t de-cluttering the house from the junk we’ve collected over the past three summers, I was out in the garden building your fort. A fort that is undeniable taking up valuable real estate in the garden, as I have enlarged its size by four times since last summer. Will you even play there this summer? Your Dad was busy assembling our new furniture, which you helped build too. A little bit.

Then night fell, and your sprits seemed to soar up, in an inversion parallel with the setting sun. You caught four frogs within the first few seconds after the sun dropped. Dad started the bon fire, and you came into the kitchen searching for marshmallows and graham crackers. While you were busy with the frogs, we took the chance, while we had it, to pull out a few of the boxes from your fort and fan the flames of the bonfire. I’m sorry… but there was no way to walk though. “It was a fire hazard.” Not sure what that means, but that’s what my parents told me when I was a kid and I got out of control.

The bullfrogs are mating; we could hear them in a symphony across the lake. You searched through your drawers for long sleeved shirts, and “long-sleeved pants”, as the mosquitoes were out. Then you headed off in the canoe with your Dad, and your flashlight, to gawk at the frogs. One made it inside of the canoe, but soon jumped completely free and back into the water. There were tears.

Then there was the annual wrestling to get your teeth brushed, and finally we hit our heads on the pillow and you were all blissfully quiet.

As night fell, most of the projects we knocked out were invisible to the naked eye; grown-up stuff that we often find so important, and necessary. You show us, everyday, especially when we’re at the lake, how simple and clear your needs truly are. You would feel complete, I think, in a simple cardboard box that is close to the water’s edge. For a second, I think I would be too.

This weekend, your parents reached their 16th wedding anniversary. We just want you to know, life couldn’t be sweeter; and we’re learning every day, especially from you, what really does matter in life. Sweeter every year.

Why yes, I did end up with eggs all over my kitchen

Note To Self: Always add, in multiples of 10, messes to your fantasies. And, you should know this by now.

Once the eggcups arrived, they fell in love with the chicks… instantly. But of course, the felt egg chicks don’t really fit on top of the eggcups unless there is an egg inside the cup.

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So, they pulled the egg carton out of the refrigerator, and they began stuffing the eggcups with fresh eggs. I indulged them by washing the eggs; assuming they would get their fill of egg play after a few seconds and and be off to something else. Who plays with eggs?  Once, to keep me busy, my grandmother set me on her porch with a bowl and a spoon and egg shells, and she told me to pretend I was cooking.  That lasted about 5 minutes; she gave one to my brother too, and he had no idea what to do with that.

Four hours later, my sons were still playing with the eggs. (My Grandmother could only wish that she’d be so lucky.) They gave the eggs names, and faces. No, they didn’t want me to hard-boil the eggs; cold was just fine.

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I explained that eggs need to be refrigerated. “Eggs can only live outside of the refrigerator for five minutes at a time,” an older brother warned them.

So, I suggested they use the eggs from the Easter Basket. They looked at me as if I asked them to join the National Guard.

They worked in shifts. Five minutes in the fridge and five minutes out. I could hear them through the house while I worked, “Only two more minutes before the eggs go back.” Some of the eggs were enamored with their new costumes. “Remember back when we didn’t have costumes. But my Mom sewed these for me, and now we do.” There was also a bit of sadness over the lost “general,” an egg that cracked and went to that hen house in the sky. Really, I know, I should have put a stop to this; but they were having so much dang gone fun; and I had laundry to do and packing; so I let them at it so I could work in peace.

Still, I was intrigued. I mean, they played with eggs for over four hours; devising plots, characters and subplots. Odd. Don’t you think?

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But, of course, I paid. Dearly. I ended up with broken eggs all over my kitchen. Five, or was it six? Broken eggs. Broken eggs in the fridge, on the floor and on the coffee table that sits in my kitchen. If it’s not shaving cream, it’s eggs all over my floor.

Once, in the throes of play, I overhead one of them say, “You know, we should keep playing now; because when we’re big someday, we won’t care about this egg stuff anymore.”

My little Kindergarten Screening Gift

UPDATE: The Gift Arrived

Basically, I’m no-frills, basic. Out of necessity, the boys have made me this way. Shopping has become, over time, with babies, toddlers and preschoolers along, an experience of high-anxiety and heavy breathing. Sometimes I get the shakes when it’s all over.

There may have been a time in my life when I shopped specialty gift shops for that unique, out of the ordinary, one-of-a-kind treasure, but I can’t recall feeling that free and uninhibited. Now, Macy’s and Target cover my needs. Depending on whether I turn left or right when I back out of our driveway, both are close to home, and on the way to everything else. At either store, I can pick up socks, saline solution and lipstick while shopping for a basic, no-frills, yet functional, gift. I am eternally grateful for Macy’s and Target for the ease they have added to my life.

Now, I’m wondering if maybe the boys might be ready for a little bit more of that somewhat adventurous side of their Mom to reveal itself; the part that just might be still lurking beneath the surface. It started with eggcups. He saw a picture of an eggcup in a magazine and wondered why we don’t have those. The reason is because a plate holds an egg just fine — why fill your cupboard with ramekins and egg cups when a plate will do the job just fine? After a decade or more of cleaning up after boys all day long, “no-frills” has eased into every aspect of my life. My cupboards are stripped to the basics: tea mugs, bowls and plates; and the egg poacher, of course.

“Why don’t we have egg cups?” I’m thinking about it. Kindergarten screening was yesterday, and although I really don’t want to talk about that, the fact is, my life will be changing once all the boys head to school. I won’t be cleaning up after little boys all day long; maybe just for four hours. I’ll have a little more room in my life for frills, and maybe the boys need a little more frills in our basic little life. So, when this picture popped up in my e-mail from Wisteria, I paid attention and read the details.

Egg Cups and Covers

They’re PURRRFECT! The simple fact that these egg cups also include felt friends will delight him and his brother more than I can express here in words. Each puppet will have names within five seconds of coming out of the box. While I cook the eggs for the cups, they’ll be delighted to sit around our table and talk for their puppets; they’ll rehearse and the show will be at five. And, I’ll have free hands, and time to watch.

Freeing them up to leave isn’t so bad, as long as you realize you’re free to spread your wings a little too — right along with them.