Susiej

The best part about writing the article for Columbus Monthly was Ray Paprocki. As the magazine’s editor, he has a way of gently coaxing words out, so they tumble onto the page like melted butter. This can be a double-edged sword; suddenly you realize there are now 500 ways to say that one thing you’re trying to say – deciding which strand to pick up and weave your story is part intuition and luck. Ray gives the writer the freedom to choose, which is a grand act of faith and confidence, making any writer feel privileged to work with him.

Secondly, I loved talking with the great mom bloggers in Columbus; amommystory, doobleh-vay, momo-fali, pepperpaints, thiswomanswork, revelry, Sundayswithstretchypants, lifedownourlane , and carrymilkweed. Hats off to the dad bloggers who unfortunately ended up on the editing floor.

And thanks to all of my editing friends who willingly read it “one more time” for me.

The sad part about writing the article is, of course, not being able to tell my Mom. So, if my friends haven’t yet bought every last copy — go get that August issue.

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Filed under: Laugh, Life, blog, column by SusieJ - 11 Comments →

No way to make it,

on time, to school everyday.

See, we have BIG plans.

As caped crusaders,

we’ve got our costumes to wear,

plus, there’s crime to fight.

We’re up at seven,

ready, serious, for play

Still, not enough time.

Tears at 11,

time for lunch,

and real clothes too,

still, play makes us late.

We are getting later, and later everyday. Breaks my heart to break up their playtime. You can read more Haiku Friday’s here.

On another note, I know that most of my readers are non-bloggers. Alltop is a new “magazine rack-style” blog reader that I love because of its elegant simplicity. Bloggers, and especially non-bloggers who love to read blogs, will appreciate this uncluttered blog reader. Alltop is the latest brain child of Guy Kawaski, ( who I’m pretty sure loves Guinness cake, by the way) Will Mayall, and Kathryn Henkensa. The website launched on March 11, 2008. This team also created Truemors. I found Alltop through Twitter, a great way to spread news fast.

Alltop has over 46 (and growing) categories, and its clean design made for easy browsing. And yep, I’m included, go see me under Moms.

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Filed under: Laugh, Life, blog, haiku by SusieJ - 21 Comments →

These really make me laugh, although I know I should probably take these more seriously. I wish phone numbers or email addresses were attached to visitors IP addresses. Then, I could kindly direct them to more appropriate places for help.

1. Like this poor soul who wants to know if ice cold soda (nice try) can really burn calories. So google sends them here. (See number 12 for more on this weight-loss themed search.)
2. And what kind of guys asks, How to hypnotize my wife. Lucky for his wife, google sent him to my post about giving your wife belly dance lessons. Now she can hypnotize him. Isn’t google just so clever?
3. Optimism seems to be a recurring theme among my google searchers. No where is this more evident that in the brave soul who actually typed, How to make a great sleepover awesome, and soon quickly learned that there are actually 13 reasons not to host a sleepover. I do hope they made other plans, and did something simple and shorter, and took the kids to a movie instead. When I go to sleep at night, I like to think that I at least spared some fellow-human being the trauma of a good sleepover.
4. This one has me puzzled. A person actually typed in the google search bar: skunk biological clock. This confused even google, as yes, it was a skunk, and yes, I do have a new biological clock. Any takes on what they were searching for can be left in the comments. I’m puzzled. Maybe they were breeding skunks? Thank goodness, someone did search this exact phrase: “how to get rid of skunk smell from being run over by your car.” I don’t know anything about smell that runs over by your car, but I hope they got a good laugh about the whole thing.
5. What are the chances that someone else would actually have an “opossum sleeping in their garage too? ” I wish this person would have commented. We could have bonded… we have so much in common.
6. Another person wants to know “how to make a person dream about someone.” Desperate measures lead her to how to make a dream come true. Later that same day, someone else typed, “I saw my dead mother.” Odd, don’t you think, that the person went to the computer with that information?
7. I know those neti pots can really get complicated… you know, mixing the salt water, getting the water temperature just right, and then actually tilting your head parallel and holding it parallel while your pour the salt water up your nostril. But what really did go wrong when the person on the other end of the computer typed, things that can go wrong using a Neti Pot? I shudder to think of the horror the befell the pour soul.
8. One search always amazes me, not because it’s a weird search or anything, but because this search is so popular, and so constant. No matter what month it is, or how far we are away from Christmas, a few people, mostly from Europe, pop in with this search: “Scientific proof that Santa Exists.” What’s up? Are scientists actively working on this? The answer is obvious… I’ve outlined it all here in black and white. There is no need to spend more of our precious resources on solving this question.
9. There were the kids who flooded google with this search in December, Where does my Mom hide my presents. Here, I gave away all the answers as kids across the world began looking under their beds. At least the dust bunnies were cleared out before Christmas morning. I admit, I am a little ashamed of myself for giving away all the secrets. I thought I was trying to help.
10. I wonder if this was the same kid who misspelled this search, “How ot kiss.” Of course, I explained it all.
11. Who would even want “an adult Pinocchio costume?” Get a grip. Pinocchio is a kid. Try Geppetto.
12. This hopeful searcher asks google simply, How can I burn calories without even knowing it? Could be the same guy who typed, how to cook meat bloody red. While another searcher, gets straight to the point and wants to know, is sex the best way to burn calories? Is this the same as burning calories without even knowing it?
13. The whole search string ended when someone typed, “What do you wear under yoga pants?

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Filed under: Laugh, Life, Thursday 13, blog by SusieJ - 35 Comments →

I grew up in a sleepy little town, and when my Mom wasn’t sewing, or crocheting, she was reading. Mesmerized, she was, as my Dad watched TV, and she had her head buried in a book. Completely oblivious to the scenes on the television, and my Dad’s laughter at the punch lines.

When I was old enough and ready, she took me down to the local fire-station, which also housed our town library, and introduced me to the librarian. From there, I was directed to the Nancy Drew section, and The Secret of the Clock was placed in my hands. These were my Mom’s favorite books when she was a growing up, and they soon became mine too.

I soon learned about my Mom’s peculiar habit: She would read the last page of the book, and then decide if she wanted to read the rest of the book! “But then, you know who did it, and the story is ruined!” But to her, the fun was in watching how the author strung the characters, the plot and the mystery all together.

I have never once, in my life, read the last page of a book first. I earn the right to read the last page of the book. Still, my Mom and I shared a vast passion of mystery books, even though I often had to remind her that, I did not want to know the ending. From Nancy Drew, I jumped to artsy mysterious, like Griffin & Sabine: The Complete Postcards.

When I traveled, there was a time when I always had a Lillian Jackson Braun Cat Mystery audio book in the car. Mr. Quilleran was quite comforting to listen to while driving. Then, I found the Kinsey Millhone Mysteries, and my Mom read them as fast as they were published. “I wonder what she’ll write for “X”,” we would say.

Have you read Blue Jelly: Love Lost and the Lessons of Canning? I love that book, and no, it isn’t a mystery.

When MotherPie asked about the books I read, I immediately thought of how much time I do spend reading picture books right now, and how much I adore picture books. Some make me cry, some make me laugh, and I’m so grateful I’ve had 12 years to have someone to read them to. Favorites? My Lucky Day, Blue Bowl Down: An Appalachian Rhyme, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, and of course the narcoleptic, Little Red Riding Hood. Actually, I can think of 100 more of them to list right here… but I won’t. I have never liked Dr. Seuss, but, my boys do, so I’ve read more than I care to remember of Dr. Seuss. Oh, and how I love Clay Boy.

As a Mother, I have read more self-help, parenting and Zen books than I care to mention. My favorites are The First Six Months, and Setting Limits. Theology, interests me too, as parenting has led me to pray more than I have every found necessary before. I would put Heart’s Code in that category, as it focuses on the interweaving of mind, body and spirit — which I think of as just one word now.

I wish my Mom were here to see that publishers send me books to review. She would have been proud. But, MotherPie, I wish they would send me more cookbooks, as I read them as if they were novels. I am fascinated by the science of food.

Over the past few years I’ve been able to sneak in a few grown-up gems, like Mr. Pip, and The Kite Runner.

I am behind in my reading what new and hot, as I am just now starting, for the first time the The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency (Book 1). This, is an amazing and wonderful book, that I am delighted — so delighted to read. Next, MotherPie’s suggestion of Rain of Gold by Victor Villasenor.

Still, my Mom made such an impression on me by introducing me to Nancy Drew, that, even though I have boys, I couldn’t resist the temptation to introduce them to the female sleuth. Now, we read a chapter from Nancy Drew at night at the lake. This is the biggest piece of myself I can give to my kids from my past.

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Filed under: Life, blog, read, reviews by SusieJ - 12 Comments →

The first thing I like to do on Friday after Thanksgiving is to clear the decks of the orange and browns of Thanksgiving and usher in the beautiful bright colors of Christmas as soon as possible. I have a ritual for this — I make cookie dough. I didn’t say I make cookies — I just make the dough, and then I store the dough in my freezer.

Once it’s there, it’s so easy to pull out a ball of dough and roll them out for cookies whenever the Christmas Elf mood strikes us — with half of the mess that baking cookies traditionally requires. I see the whole cookie baking process, with kids in the house, as a step by step process. Baby steps; break things down.

I’ve been tagged by Angie, and Motherwise for some memes. First, I will do that seven weird random things meme. Angie’s will take some time.

1. I wear socks to bed every night. Even in the summer. If I get cold, then I spend the rest of the night getting up to pee. So, I just wear socks, and everyone gets some zzzs.
2. After my Mom died, I kept checking my e-mail — I just had this feeling that she had some lost e-mail left out in the cybersphere that didn’t make it to me yet. And that e-mail would just explain EVERYTHING. It has yet to arrive. OK, Mama Milton, I’m sticking with the weird here too.
3. When I do get up to pee at 2 a.m., I have deep dark thoughts. They frighten me. Does anyone else out there have those? I’d like to have a discussion about them on the blogsphere — get them all out in the open while it’s daylight. Because, during the day, these deep dark thoughts don’t look so deep and dark. And then, maybe, at 2 a.m. I could just read what we said during the day –instead of bugging you with a phone call at 2 a.m. — and I wouldn’t be so frightened.
4. I’m a very good at the piano. I won contests and stuff.
5. I have a passion for design and architecture magazines. I drool over Metropolitan Home, Better Homes and Gardens (did they just fold or something), and I have a subscription to Architectural Digest. But, I can’t figure out where to put the sofa, or hang a picture. But I like the pretty pictures in the magazines.
6. I used to be an avid gardner — before kids. I knew the names of plants, just by looking at it’s leaves. I knew when to plant it, when it would flower, the best time to prune it, and where it originated from (it’s habitat). What is more fascinating, to me, is that I never formally studied this. I just watched a few shows on TV, visited a lot of garden stores, and started gardening. But, when I had kids, I found it very difficult to focus on the plants and hear what they were trying to “say” as I weeded. I got so frustrated that I just walked away from my shovel, took off my gloves and never looked back. Surprisingly, I don’t miss gardening — but I still remember everything about the plants. It was a language I seemed to have learned.
7. I feel like cooking everything in site today. Mainly, because I just want to eat everything in site today. I’m taking advantage of it and baking like a fiend — Chex Mix, Marshmallows, Gingerbread — because I may not have this muse later on this month when I really need it.

Who to tag? Patios, Crunchy Domestic Housewife, Zena, BusyMom (no, you’re not the worst) Jenny, Painted Maypole, Slouching Mom and my fun single girl-friend Garnet have already been tagged. Leslie and Aussie Mum did the 8 meme, which I am staying far away from. The Wink, Melinda Zook, Sabbatical from Sanctity, Kiwi Countdown, Damama, Whoisgoingtotellyou and therapydoc. are tagged, So, who can I tag? For sure, Amy, Janey, Melody, Louann, Sassafras (how have you been lately?) and Mountain Mama. Maybe Gift of Green could do 7 green things about her, besides freezing her bum.

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Filed under: Life, blog, holidays, try this by SusieJ - 12 Comments →

I have a friend who swears she would read my blog everyday if I put a post up to tell her what to make for dinner. The trouble with that is, I don’t know what I am having for dinner, so how could I possibly write that for her. I’ve been thinking, and I think I might have a solution for me and for her.

There was a time, when I faithfully made my dinner every morning after breakfast, from a menu I created every Saturday night, with ingredients I purchased at the grocery store from a well-planned grocery list. Somewhere along the way I got sidetracked. The problem is I really, really, really like to cook, and I have some fussy eaters, and I enjoy food so much, that I wanted my kids to have the same great experience. A good meal for us, and my oldest son, and plain stuff for the others. As a result, I started making separate meals for each one. I know, the cardinal sin Mothers are never supposed to commit. It’s not as bad as it is for some Moms. But look what happened. I burned out, and now I freeze when I walk into the kitchen. And, despite the prayer, dinner time just brings back so many … painful …. memories.

I’m getting braver about saying no, and saying I guess you’ll just have to go hungry. And slowly, it seems to be sinking in. I’m not afraid of the dinner table so much anymore, and they are starting to eat a little better. My biggest weapon is dessert, a little something at the end of every meal. Just makes everything go down much smoother. (And, none of you have the TV on during dinner do you? Including breakfast time?)

Meal planning. Some e-meal organizers have sent me free subscriptions to their services, asking that I try them out, and let you know what I think. Quite frankly, I won’t even bother to tell you who they are, because it was basically a poorly designed database of casseroles. For “after the game,” they suggested a quick salad, which involved cutting and peeling over 10 different vegetables. I will spare you the agony of plodding through that.

But, I did find something we can all use. FoodNetwork, has an awesome page called the weekly meal planner. What makes this one unique, is it involves making one large feast on Sunday (or adapt to any day that suits you), with four to five “left-over” recipes to use throughout the week. On the page, I see four main meals. So, I could probably make two large feasts per week, freeze the leftovers, and rotate the leftover meals throughout the week, so that we’re not having turkey every night. After about two weeks, you’ll have enough variety to keep things happy.

The only drawback I see to the site is this: How often is it updated? Is this a static page? Do they change it by season? I guess I will soon find out.

So, for my friend, I guess I could just put up a little note somewhere on my page about what we’re having for dinner, and refer you to the recipes, and tell you how the recipe went, and how the kids reacted. And maybe my friend could leave a comment about whether she tried it, and how it the whole meal went at her house. Once I get it all figured out, I’ll let you know.

Later, I’ll share my trick for keeping my pantry completely organized and stocked. It’s pretty snappy and easy.

Last year’s Thanksgiving Feast, with all the cousins. Makes me want to sit at the kid table all over again.

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Filed under: Life, blog, eat by SusieJ - 16 Comments →