Susiej

Honestly, I didn’t think would quite make it back before midnight tonight to do this drawing, as this was the night of the annual spring string’s concert for my 6th grader. Proper etiquette does dictate that we not leave in the middle of it, as the instructor hinted all night, while he carefully keeps the students away from parents while the other classes perform. So, I was trapped with hundreds of other respectable people while our little sons tried to see how many mouth and body noises they could make that would sound as much like the very orchestra instruments that were serenading us. So, I’m glad we did the respectable thing and stayed throughout the entire concert. I’m sure everyone who sat around us is glad too.

He promised us we would all be done in one hour. Three orchestras in one hour. Maybe, just maybe, we could have been out of there in 1/2 an hour if he would have cut out all the talk between musical selections, that we couldn’t even hear anyway, because there was no microphone. And just maybe, the kids wouldn’t have gotten quite so restless in a half hour. What am saying, Dear Instructor, is, have a little mercy on us, please. It’s late. We’re tired. We have other kids…

So, to the prize. First, I must thank Mads at Random.org, for taking all the guess work and emotional heart-wrenching choices out of these important matters of the heart? I love all of your kids, and I wanted everyone to have this camera. And Jen, by far, had the funniest comment and advice to my babysitting quandary, “I would scratch out my eyes.” All of you really, had nice comments. But, with only one camera to give away, I just put everything in the hands of random.org, and watched what happened.
And the winner is, Painted Maypole, who said, “The MQ would LOVE that camera.” And hers, it is. Still, it doesn’t stop me from wishing you had all won.

But, the MQ is starting new adventures this Fall at school, and hopefully, Painted Maypole will share some of MQ’s latest photos with us on her blog, as she tells us all about MQ’s new discoveries at school this year.

I promise… I have some more great prizes coming up. They’ll be more chances soon.

For now, I wrote about how Grandma used to handle Christmas and birthday presents for over 50 Grand and Great Grandchildren, here. You’ll like this. It has lots to do with popcorn balls.

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And maybe one for you, if you win the give-away for the Discovery Slide and Shoot digital camera at the bottom.

I love to give my boys airplane rides. There’s something symbolic about knowing I have the strength to hold them up, and to keep them balanced while they enjoy the ride. I’ve never let one fall. Of course, the older boys no longer get airplane rides, so now, I’m creative at finding new ways to keep them balanced.

Lately, I’ve been thinking hard about the decision I made when my third son was growing in my belly, back in 2001, before September 11. I canceled all of my outside consulting work, and canceled all babysitters. There was nothing I wanted more, at the time, than to “nest” with these wonderful boys, who were content to dress-up, and sit on the sofa beside me while I read them fairy tales. As the baby grew larger around my belly, and my older boys were all too eager to watch all the changes going on in the house as we made room for baby, and the fascinating changes in my body, I turned my focus entirely to them. Nothing seemed more important, and at that time, nothing was.

My work, at that time, consisted of 12-20 hours per week writing business articles at home for a few Fortune 1000 companies. A babysitter came in a few days a week to allow me to concentrate.

When the fourth boy came, I scrambled to find babysitters, just to stay sane, not to work. Thus began the era of the nightmare babysitters. I used references, referrals, and services, and still couldn’t find a dependable, reliable babysitter to save my life. Literally… to save my life. (I will write about those nightmare stories on another day.) So, I swore off babysitters for years. Never again would I subject myself, or my children, to such stress. Somewhere, I picked up the mantra that I was a good enough Mom… I didn’t need help. The idea of having a sitter made my skin crawl… my kids were awesome… I didn’t need help.

Now, I’m fondly reminiscing back to the time when I was free to run out the door for a monthly haircut, to make a phone call to a business client, and the calm that enveloped me on the days when I knew extra help was coming in just a few hours. True, I had been jaded by the last experiences with horrible sitters, but, having solid, reliable extra help, was as as smooth as chocolate.

Some days, I’m merely a puppet, with strings, attached to four boys. The messes they make for the day are my agenda. Bedtime, is the most wonderful time of the day… please… no one say a word… from 8 o’clock until 7 o’clock the next morning; I need this time to recover, and gather strength for tomorrow. If you must talk… use sign language.

The final straw was yesterday, when I took the boys to see National Treasure. After watching the team jet around to Paris, London and South Dakota, without jet lag, climbing caves, I was envious. Oh, to be that free. I cried on my husband’s shoulder and said, “I want to be a treasurer hunter!” He always laughs, but I’m serious. I’m glad my sons saw that, and more importantly, I’m glad they’re watching me do something about it.

E-mails are coming in from my wonderful babysitter, who is returning home from college this week. He’ll have another job, and I’m scooping up his available time. The boys are excited to hear he’s coming back, and counting down the days. I’m dreaming; no, I’m fantasizing, about having the uninterrupted time to simply back-up files on my computer, clean out the junk drawer, and even schedule interviews with book authors for articles I plan to write. I’m thinking I’ll meet my husband for lunch — alone, without anyone who asks for crayons with the menu.

I think my decision to cancel all the work, and stay home exclusively with my kids, might have been an error. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I needed the balance. I needed something outside and away from my kids to keep me centered and focused. I needed the breaks that involved writing about welding and filler metals. There’s calm in knowing there’s an escape hatch every few days.

My babysitter will go back to school in August. Finally wise, I won’t wait until May to get help again. I’ll start searching now to find a new babysitter I do trust, and that my kids love. This could take years to find one. But, Mommy needs this… from now on, so she can keep her balance.

So, now for the give-away. All you have to do is leave a comment saying you want to win this Discovery Slide and Shoot digital camera. And no, you don’t have to write about it on your blog, but it would be nice. This camera is perfect for any child with an insatiable desire to point and shoot. Ages 8 and up, and holds 93 photos. I’ll draw a winner with random.org on Monday.

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Love is a choice, not an act

I’ve taught you have to give a great kiss; how to choose a great bottle of champagne, and how to stay faithful in your relationship — however you define it. Now, it’s time to tell your significant other exactly what it is you do want. Researchers say the biggest cause of dissatisfaction in relationships is that couples rarely talk to each other about what they want. We both just assume the other person knows exactly how we feel.

When I explained how to make a dream come true, number 5 clearly states that one of the keys is to write your dream down to coax it into life. We can’t have all of that frustration brewing, seeping out disrupting our sleep. We have to get what we want.

Most of you said you just couldn’t come up with anything. I think Jani summed it up perfectly: “It’s hard to want something for Valentine’s Day without sounding selfish.” Jani, and to all of you out there, it’s OK, and sometimes necessary, to be clear about what you want… has nothing to do with being selfish.

Apparently, you’re all not alone out there with this shyness and apprehension about Valentine Gifts. I glanced through the WSJ (February 9, 2008; Page W6), and found an entire article lamenting the proper etiquette of the Valentine gift, and how much weight it carries on the future of the relationship. So, before I announce the winner to the Valentine Wishes contest, I thought it might be fun to look at what the WSJ says are the best his and hers Valentine’s Gifts. If you need some ideas on what to buy, or ask for, this list of gifts might help you:

For Him:

Digital Photo Keychain: How cool is that? a four-ounce, Digital Photo Keychain that serves as a James-Bond type brag book of you and the kids. (The WSJ did not rank this first..it was number three, but I thought it was too cool to keep in third place.)

Sinatra. The Frank Sinatra 4CD/1DVD set. That’s a classy gift, and it stays romantic as long as you don’t throw in the WSJ’s recommendation for The Godfather DVD Collection .

Stationery. (I love typing that word, by the way…I love how it ends in “ery” and not “ary” because “ery” has an e like “letter.”) Mrs. John L. Strong has monogrammed note cards you can have stamped in silver with his initial in masculine colors like milkweed and French blue; $95 for 20 cards and envelopes (mrsstrong.com). I think Sam, because she has such an eloquent way with words, would love to have this gift too.

For Her

Fair Trade Roses and white calla lilies. Sam’s Club is offering fair trade Roses this year from Ecuador, with some proceeds reserved for Ecuadorian day-care centers, scholarships, adult-literacy programs and housing funds, while also offering fair wages to their workers. A dozen fair-trade red roses for $64.44, from samsclub.com. Lilies, grown on certified farms in Colombia, in a clear glass vase, $69.99 from 1-800-flowers. Louann spoke eloquently and clearly from her heart, and I could definitely see her loving this gift.

Silk Scarf and Candles. $45 Burmese-silk covered heart-shaped box tied with satin ribbons from redenvelope.com that contains three scented candles instead of candy. Me, I’d rather just have the Chocolate to eat by candlelight. Amy, with the bee and soul post, this could warm your heart.

Romantic Meal at Home… and she doesn’t have to cook… or clean up. The easiest way to do this, is via Amazon.com’s”Romantic Quail Dinner for 2,” sold by Just Caviar, which includes quail and caviar for $187.50. Caviari is supposed to be an aphrodisiac, as are asparagus, oysters, truffles and champagne. My thought, honey, if you’re reading this… Quail? Quail? I don’t like quail… I think. However, I would do anything to get out of cleaning the kitchen. I could see Leslie, who spelled out e-x-a-c-t-l-y what she wants, appreciating this gift.

The challenge was to:

1. Write a post outlining just one little — or a complete list — of things you’d like, or you’d like done for you on valentine’s day this year. This can be in the form of a letter, a poem, or you could even use a picture to say your 1,000 words. Just generate your wish. Guys, you’re included too. This could be a real education for your significant other.
2. Once you’ve written your post, link your post to this post’s perma link.
3. Leave me a comment here with your post title so that I can add you to the random.org drawing on February 9, 2008 at midnight. (Midnight is much more romantic, don’t you think?)

The prizes are:

• A private e-mail from SusieJ sent to your significant other outlining the details of what you’d like.
• $20 gift certificate from Red Envelope.
• A softcover book compilation of each and every entry entered in the contest. You choose the cover by sending me the jpg of the photo you want, and I’ll have the book printed and sent to you.
• Copy of the new book by Nadine Haobsh, Beauty Confidential: The No Preaching, No Lies, Advice-You’ll- Actually-Use Guide to Looking Your Best. Guys, there’s stuff in there for you too.

I’m thanking God right now that I did have the foresight to make this contest random, because I am so thankful I don’t have to pick the best one. So, here goes. www.random.org picked ….. Jani! Congratulations.

Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone…

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