Entries in the 'Laugh' Category

How it’s gonna be

The wooden trains have been buried in their storage tub since that sick day when he built an un-Christmas train last year.  I made a good-faith effort to pull out the train and placed the tracks under the real Christmas tree this year; but the train was not embraced. In fact, it was simply ignored.  I even slid the already-decorated Christmas tree right across the floor to allow more “building” room for the track.  (Not one ornament was lost in the move.) Space, apparently, was not the problem. He had a change of heart.  Just like little Jackie Paper, one day he just found other things to occupy his time, besides trains.

When we opened the book to Puff, and sang the song about the little boy who left his childhood friend behind, I never thought we were reading a story about us.

dan

So I asked him, “You’re really done with this train, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he answered, without looking up from his latest Bionicle creation.

“Well, then, maybe we should pack it up , and find some other little boy who’d like to play with this train.”

“No, Mom,” he said. “Let me tell you how it’s gonna be.  When I’m all grown up, and I’m a Grandpa, you’re going to keep the train around, built all around your house so that you can remember me.”

dan

Lego Storage

Years ago, when I was pregnant with my first child, there was an email circulating, listing 10 reasons on how to tell if you’re ready to have kids. One of them was to throw broken glass all over the floor, and walk barefoot over the pieces. The experience was to prepare you for the pain you will encounter when you step on your kid’s legos. No amount of prep work can prepare you for that kind of pain.

My boys promise me that if I buy them plastic bins, they will sort each piece by color, and put them there every night.  (Yeah, right.)  Until then,

We spread them out on one big blanket. When they’re done, we just roll up the blanket and put them in a basket.

His Office

Once his big brothers have left for school, leaving the kitchen in a scattered mess of opened cereal boxes, bowls of half-eaten cereal in soggy milk, sticky messes of milk spots all over the table, he pulls out his instruments and begins his morning work, creating worlds that are home to only his favorite colors.

Thankful for half-day kindergarten.

The Hot Register

The first child up in the morning, (this varies by day) pulls the blanket off his bed, and drags it through the hallway and down the stairs to sit on the hottest spot in the house — the hot register. This black grate sits at the bottom of the stairs, just inside the front door. The blanket on top ensures no heat will escape, and all that warm toasty air will stay wrapped around legs, feet, and a chest that is not quite ready to take on the world.

The second child up makes his way, with his blanket, to the second hottest spot in the house — the hot register in the dining room, just off to the left from the front door. The third child is stuck with the living room, which billows heat with the least force of the three. The fourth child couldn’t care less. He’s just worried that everyone else is going to make him late for school — and he yells at them to hurry up and eat their breakfasts.

But they are eating their breakfasts. They’ve managed somehow, without losing their spot, to pour a bowl of cereal and milk, grab a spoon, and run back to their spot where they are eating, concealing their bowl under the blanket so that I won’t know; because I’d tell them to go sit at the table.

I discover this has happened after they’ve left for school, and I find the bowl with my foot, the spoon clinking against the pottery, as I walk by to pick up the blankets. I say nothing later, because I know how it feels to be drawn to that heat. I did the same thing when I was a girl. It’s almost irresistible.

I have been known, on particularly rushed mornings, to turn off the heat, just to get them to move. Sometimes, it’s the only way. Then, later, around 10, wondering why it’s so cold in here. Once, I mistakenly turned back on the A/C, and found myself with an unfamiliar air of chilliness.

In the afternoons they will do homework in these respective spots, and by the looks of the inside of the registers, lots of Lego’s and Bionicles have been built here too. It also looks as if some chess games have been won and lost on these spots.

On snow days, they congregate together on the hottest register with every blanket, stuffed animal and sheet they can find and build one huge billowy fort. There are lots of screams about territory during these turf battles.

Once the weather warms up (let’s hope in just a few weeks), these registers, these thrones, will recede into the walls of the corners where they sit, and they will go unnoticed until that first frost comes in the fall.

Name That Movie

It’s all I can do to not share this scene with you via You Tube. But I’ll have to wait until next Friday. For now, you’ll have to guess. This should be fun. Below is the dialogue from a scene in a movie. See if you can recognize what movie this is from:

“Let’s not go out for dinner. Let’s stay in.”
“We have to eat.”
“We can eat here. I’ll cook.”
“I thought you didn’t like to cook.”
“No, I don’t like to cook. But I have a chicken in the icebox and you’re eating it.”
“What about all the washing up afterwards?”
“We’ll eat it with our fingers.”
“Do we need any plates?”
“Yes. One for you and one for me.”
“Mind if I have dinner with you tonight?”
“I’d be delighted.”

You have until next Friday, March 5, 2010 to email me your guess, to sjotest AT (spelled out to avoid spam) yahoo.com.
If you’re correct, you’ll be entered to win an Amazon Gift Card and this gift.

When the Snowmen Melt

Update: My son’s preschool teacher sent me these pictures — her daughter proudly made this dragon out of snow,

using green food coloring to make the stand out. (She said it was OK to publish these photos.) Puff is nothing but delightful.

I hope she sends me an email to explain how she got that neck to stand up so tall!

A snowman in the front yard is a testament to the mother inside (and you can bet she’s savoring a moment of peace over a cup of  tea) who has successfully managed to instill in her children the inspiration to make something out of the white powder that the kids are nothing short of sick of by now.

Snow, at this point, has lost a bit of its novelty, and dare I say it, its pristine beauty. Now that the earth has been covered in a blanket of white for so many weeks, our landscape looks more like a white desert than a Winter Wonderland. Snow has, due to the passage of time, inherited different shades of white.

  1. Pure white: Freshly fallen, or untouched snow.
  2. Gray white: Snow that has melted and refrozen, leaving big dots behind.
  3. Yellow snow.
  4. Horrific black white. This is snow melted under the pressure of salt and automobile tires, and then thrown in chunky blocks, via splashes along the side of the road.

This year’s crop of snowmen have been unusually large. They dot our streets like familiar faces, and like pets, have taken on the character traits of the inhabitants of the houses where they sit. Their scarves and hats peek out at odd angles, as the sun has melted and re-frozen their bodies, while Mother Nature rained down a few more inches on top, after snowman-birth.

The arrival of spring is a tricky thing. The sun warms up the earth, and in a matter of 24 hours, reveals the wet grass beneath the snow. We are lulled into believing this is it — we pull out our spring lightweight jackets, and then bam– an ice storm shows up wrecking havoc on our schedules once again, and we can’t see our grass.

The snowmen are too smart to fall for that spring trick. They stick around long after the snow has melted on the grass. But when they do melt, that’s a sure sign that spring has arrived.