Susiej

In every town he visited, a violent protest broke out in the streets where Gaylen, the boy in The Search for Delicious,  polled the people on their most delicious food. Everyone knew what the most delicious food was, but no one could agree, yet everyone agreed to disagree. Husbands, asked to be truthful, were forced to give up ship, and confess, that no, he really didn’t love his wife’s meat loaf as much as she had wished, but rather, his Aunt Ninny’s country fried chicken stole his heart instead. People shouted in the streets, vehemently stating that the official declaration of the most delicious food could be nothing else than apples, or walnuts, or Stilton, as father fought against son, and wife against neighbor.

Then, the water dried up. An evil one, seeking to gain the kingship over the country, built a dam against the river, and kept the water from flowing down to the villages.

“People! Your crops are withering. Your animals are gasping. And your children – don’t you care for your children? Your children are weeping for water. People! Your People are dying!”

Suddenly, apples, walnuts, cheese, chicken and even black raspberries lost their allure. When the dam finally broke, and the water was set free, it was the water that became delicious. No one could argue. Everyone agreed. Unanimously, water became the most delicious food. Everything else was just a fringe benefit. My kids are water connoisseurs… saying they like the well water from the lake much more than this city-filtered water here. And when they’re really hot and thirsty… it’s water they want… with lots of ice.

As I read these words to my boys tonight, each one eager to finally get to the end of the book to find out if their own guesses were right, there was a look of revelation on their faces as they realized they too had overlooked the most obvious, yet prized resource.

Sometimes, you have to loose everything to discover what really means the most to you. Here’s to all of you still searching.

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scary books.

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He told us everything; he left so much unsaid.

I became more intrigued just as he was jetting off to catch a plane, and the group interview with Nicholas Sparks, author of the book, Nights in Rodanthe, (and The Notebook), was coming to its close. The movie, starring Richard Gere and Diane Lane, opens in theaters September 26, 2008.

Sparks cited Dickens’ famous sentence in literature, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,”  as the epitome of literary efficiency. “I would be considered lightly edited,” Sparks says, because “one of the tenets under which I write is efficiency… efficiency is incredibly important to develop in quality literature.”

He told us everything.
When asked how he is able to write such well-rounded female characters, he said, “I have not the slightest idea.” Although he does have a standard group of answers, all true:  “I had a wonderful mother.  I married very well.  All of the most important people in my life at the present time and throughout my publishing career have been women.”

He also told us how he writes half of a novel, and sends this to his agent, a creating writing major, who does a pretty significant line edit. “She suggests deletions of passages.”  From there, the book goes to his editor, “who fills in story gaps.”  And if you’re wondering about timing, “I could do, for most of the vast majority of my books, a total editing process of less than 24 working hours.” His first book was the same.

He sold pharmaceuticals, but didn’t want to do this for the rest of his life.  He had a wife, kids and a mortgage, and wasn’t interested in climbing the corporate ladder.  “So, I asked, what can I do in my spare time and chase my dream and try to make it? What could I conceivable do?”  He had already written two novels, one at 19 and one at 22. “So when I sat down at 28 I said Okay, I’m going to give myself three chances to write a novel and if I don’t succeed, then I’ll know I’m not cut out to be a writer.”

The first novel, which he wrote over a six month period, was The Notebook.  He says, “It wasn’t as hard, it was more the consistency of putting yourself in the chair and doing it.”  He never missed a day of work, didn’t miss much sleep, and didn’t miss spending time with the family because they were in bed most of the time he worked.  He worked once the kids went to bed at 9, and wrote until 12, and half a day on the weekends.

What He Left Unsaid.
Sparks’ book, Three Weeks with My Brother, was based on his trip around the world, and his twofold struggle.  “I was at a point in my life when I was very, very busy. And the number two, finding a way to enjoy it. And that was really what the journey that I was going through was about.”

“By the time I went it felt almost as it it was a burden to go. And that is a shame because that reflects an imbalance in your life.  And to correct that imbalance took time.”

The answers to the puzzle of how Sparks corrected that imbalance can be found in his book, Three Weeks with My Brother. So, Mr. Sparks, what new revelations can you share with us as the book left your heart? A book that was difficult to write, because of the challenge of  “reliving experiences that I’d rather not get emotionally close to again,” he said. “There were tragedies that struck my family and I needed to go back to those places, to put you back there.”

After he admitted he will take such a trip again, he was asked,  “Has your wife taken a similar trip?”  No, he said.  “Does she plan to?”  Sparks said, “Maybe not three weeks, but without question, she will.”

Will there be a Three Weeks With My Brother Part II? Still, I”m left wondering, why isn’t his wife taking a three week trip, reaping the benefits of the lesson her husband learned about correcting imbalances in one’s life?

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I grew up in a sleepy little town, and when my Mom wasn’t sewing, or crocheting, she was reading. Mesmerized, she was, as my Dad watched TV, and she had her head buried in a book. Completely oblivious to the scenes on the television, and my Dad’s laughter at the punch lines.

When I was old enough and ready, she took me down to the local fire-station, which also housed our town library, and introduced me to the librarian. From there, I was directed to the Nancy Drew section, and The Secret of the Clock was placed in my hands. These were my Mom’s favorite books when she was a growing up, and they soon became mine too.

I soon learned about my Mom’s peculiar habit: She would read the last page of the book, and then decide if she wanted to read the rest of the book! “But then, you know who did it, and the story is ruined!” But to her, the fun was in watching how the author strung the characters, the plot and the mystery all together.

I have never once, in my life, read the last page of a book first. I earn the right to read the last page of the book. Still, my Mom and I shared a vast passion of mystery books, even though I often had to remind her that, I did not want to know the ending. From Nancy Drew, I jumped to artsy mysterious, like Griffin & Sabine: The Complete Postcards.

When I traveled, there was a time when I always had a Lillian Jackson Braun Cat Mystery audio book in the car. Mr. Quilleran was quite comforting to listen to while driving. Then, I found the Kinsey Millhone Mysteries, and my Mom read them as fast as they were published. “I wonder what she’ll write for “X”,” we would say.

Have you read Blue Jelly: Love Lost and the Lessons of Canning? I love that book, and no, it isn’t a mystery.

When MotherPie asked about the books I read, I immediately thought of how much time I do spend reading picture books right now, and how much I adore picture books. Some make me cry, some make me laugh, and I’m so grateful I’ve had 12 years to have someone to read them to. Favorites? My Lucky Day, Blue Bowl Down: An Appalachian Rhyme, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, and of course the narcoleptic, Little Red Riding Hood. Actually, I can think of 100 more of them to list right here… but I won’t. I have never liked Dr. Seuss, but, my boys do, so I’ve read more than I care to remember of Dr. Seuss. Oh, and how I love Clay Boy.

As a Mother, I have read more self-help, parenting and Zen books than I care to mention. My favorites are The First Six Months, and Setting Limits. Theology, interests me too, as parenting has led me to pray more than I have every found necessary before. I would put Heart’s Code in that category, as it focuses on the interweaving of mind, body and spirit — which I think of as just one word now.

I wish my Mom were here to see that publishers send me books to review. She would have been proud. But, MotherPie, I wish they would send me more cookbooks, as I read them as if they were novels. I am fascinated by the science of food.

Over the past few years I’ve been able to sneak in a few grown-up gems, like Mr. Pip, and The Kite Runner.

I am behind in my reading what new and hot, as I am just now starting, for the first time the The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency (Book 1). This, is an amazing and wonderful book, that I am delighted — so delighted to read. Next, MotherPie’s suggestion of Rain of Gold by Victor Villasenor.

Still, my Mom made such an impression on me by introducing me to Nancy Drew, that, even though I have boys, I couldn’t resist the temptation to introduce them to the female sleuth. Now, we read a chapter from Nancy Drew at night at the lake. This is the biggest piece of myself I can give to my kids from my past.

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The minute I say, “Have you done your reading yet today?” I have instantly switched off that creative spark that makes him crave to read those encoded messages on the page, and turned reading into a chore. He will do whatever his little, yet powerful mind, sets itself too.

Yet, reading practice is critical at this tender stage of level 2-3. The next big leap, level 4, is a big one, his teacher says. He’s ready, she says, as long as his level of interests stays high. Or, as long as it stays his idea.

I’ve learned from educators that the best way to push your child to a higher reading level is to let them practice at the level they’ve currently mastered. You would think that it makes more sense to push the “higher” levels, believing that you are challenging them. That was the mistake I made with my first son — it was a brief, frustrating period for both of us.

This time, I pulled piles of level 2 and 3 books into our library bag. Once I had them home, I set them into a tray by the nutcrackers and said, “Nutcrackers need story-time.”

The Nutcrackers. This too, is a story within itself. Before Christmas, he was mesmerized with the nutcracker picture book and its fanciful pictures, the story CD that we played each night at bedtime, the nutcracker advent calender that told one line of the story each night. With the opened box of decorations, nutcrackers filled our house: nutcracker place-cards from last Christmas, nutcrackers as gifts from Christmases years before, and ornaments. Just ask him, and this kindergartner will tell you the whole story of The Nutcracker Prince, its subplots and main characters.

Instead of toy soldiers and green army men, we have nutcrackers as toys. Some would say they’re too pretty and special to be played with like toys. I might add, they are not designed for play either… arms easily break off,

heads fall off, but this doesn’t seem to bother him. Nor me. If they weren’t here reading all these stories, they’d be piled into a box somewhere, unloved and forgotten. I’m happy to see them get some use, other than collecting dust.

He fully expected to receive a “full-sized Buzz Lightyear” for Christmas, because “Santa can make anything.” His kindergarten teacher even pulled me aside once, and said, “I’m just giving you a heads up… he’s REALLY going to be disappointed Christmas morning if there is no live-sized Buzz.”

No, he didn’t receive life-sized Buzz. But, he did receive this full-sized Nutcracker from a kind nephew and niece instead.

So now, we have story-time for the Nutcrackers, while he quietly moves on to Level 4.

Best Shot Monday

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New Year’s Resolutions have good intentions, but are too harsh and restrictive to survive the 365-day mark. Dreams, require no willpower, are much more enticing, and naturally hold your focus throughout a year. There’s nothing quite like a well-crafted dream to help you replace bad habits with new ones. No dream is worth having unless it can come true – and most do, usually when we least expect it. Here are 13 steps to making your dreams come true.

1. This is really your decision. Everything you have in your life, good or bad, is there because of one reason – you brought it in, and you’ve kept it. It’s easy for all of us to justify blame on someone or something for what we have, but that’s not reality. For a minute, suspend judgment on yourself for bringing anything you think as bad into your life, and really relish in the realization that you do have more power than you realized. The future is all Choices and Illusions: How Did I Get Where I Am, and How Do I Get Where I Want to Be? Now, if you can create this much without even trying, how much more can you create if you set your mind to it? If you have trouble seeing this vital point, find a copy of Martha Beck’s great book, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live.
2. Joy. You’ve noticed that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. It’s called the The Law of Attraction. Physicists can explain this: Dancing Wu Li Masters: An Overview of the New Physics, and this works in your life too. If you say, “I just know I’m going to forget what I came here for…” you will. In Change Your Life in Seven Days: The World’s Leading Hypnotist Shows You How Paul McKenna shows you how a simple slight change in your daily attitude will, bring dramatic changes into your life – some instantaneously. Right now, you can download Paul’s free audio download that helps you retrain your brain to think in “more positive and abundant ways.” Again, Martha Beck has a fun, but seriously-packed book called, The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life with daily practices you can easily incorporate into your life.
3. No Wishes. Eliminate these words. Hope, Wish, Will, Someday. Especially someday. These words will always keep your dream in the far off distant future, and never part of your present reality. “I hope to have” = “I have.” “Someday, I’ll go to France.” = “I went to France.” “I wish I had.” = “I have.” When you say, I wish – you are creating an opportunity for you to continue wishing – forever. As long as you say wish, you will. If you change your mind into I have, you will soon have many things you want. Louise L. Hay is the Queen of affirmations. She says you can change anything in your life, and attract anything to you, just be saying the right words. Check out her Power Thought Cards.
4. Cast your dream. There is a great book by Henriette Anne Klauser called Write It Down, Make It Happen that I adore. Start the magic by writing down your dream in concrete terms, as if it’s already happened. You will find this is awkward, and it will feel weird. You may not even know what it is, exactly, what you do want. Worse, you may believe it’s impossible, so why even bother to write down such garbage? So, pick another dream, learn to Change Your Questions, Change Your Life. Create something in identifiable, concrete terms. Not, I wish I had my dream house – I own a cobblestone house with 4000 square feet, 15 minutes from downtown and 5 bedrooms, with a master bath on the second floor. When my son’s 200 shark bites hardly sold the first day, he felt a little cold feet despair. Before he went to sleep, I told him to write ten times, “I sold 75 shark bites,” before he went to sleep. He looked at me funny – this was awkward. “It’s not true Mom.” I know it’s not true, I said – but you’re going to make it true tomorrow, and this is how you start. There was no magic in the act – but his energy of despair and defeat would definitely impact his attitude during the next day’s sales. His customers would have definitely picked up on his sour mood. As he wrote, he couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like to actually sell 75 shark bites. It felt good! The more times he wrote it, the less time he had to think about the fact that they didn’t sell today, and the more he thought about an empty cooler chest, and kids screaming for more shark bites, because they did taste good. Once you play a scene out in your mind, your brain has a difficult time distinguishing an imagined scene from an actually scene. He went to sleep with these good thoughts, and they percolated in his dreams all night. Rather than heading off to school the next morning, worried, he felt good. The kids picked up on his energy. He sold 75 shark bites. (I breathed a sigh of relief!) The next night he wrote, “I sold out of shark bites, and people keep asking for more.” I stood behind the sales table on the playground and watched it happen the next day. Shark bites gone, kids asking for more.
5. Refine your Dream. When you see your dream in black and white print, with your own name in front of it, your dream starts to look a little too real. This will make you feel a little weird – it just won’t feel right. This is a necessary vital step in the process. When you read it out loud, the statement might make you laugh, or it might scare you. When you see those five bedrooms with your name in front of it, you might suddenly realize that’s a lot of bathrooms to clean. As the reality of your dream becomes more apparent, you may decide you don’t like certain parts. You can always attract a maid; but is that something you truly want to manage? Maybe it is. Now, is the time to refine your dream.
6. Clear the roadblocks. Whether you realize it or not, your subconscious has been very busy your entire life protecting you from your dreams. Your subconscious is very aware of all the downsides of every dream you set your little heart on, and believing it is protecting you, it stops you from making steps toward realizing your dream. How many times have you said, “I would hate to be famous like that and have all those photographers chasing me all the time.” Voila! Ironically, your subconscious, when used to your advantage, can be a very good little problem solver. Take out a sheet of paper, and write down your dream. Now, put your pen in your opposite hand, and right the “yes, but….” and let your subconscious finish the statement. You’ll be surprised to see on paper what’s been lurking around in your what’s lurking around in your mind. Then, put your pen back in your dominant hand, and answer the negative with a solution, “Yes, but….” Continue this until you get to a point where your subconscious truly has no more objections. End the exercise with writing in your dominate hand, you’re dream in a positive statement. When doubts creep up tomorrow, do this exercise again, and again, and again. Your other hand is a Powerful Tool that can help you solve many other problems — it taps the Inner Wisdom of the Right Brain.
7. Gratitude. There is secret power in gratitude. Keep yourself aware of what great things you really have already going on in your life. If you start by actually writing down, not just thinking about them, but writing down three things that you are truly grateful for, you’ll find that it’s difficult to stop. Do this everyday. The point of this exercise is to help move you to a state of joy. And once you’re there, you’ll continue to attract more good things into your life. Just remember, always, Focus on the Good Stuff.
8. Patience. There is a time delay between the creation of the dream in your mind and the actual delivery in the material world. Don’t be discouraged. It’s on it’s way, and right now, this will help you Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice. Right now, you Can’t Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought, so keep talking and writing about your dream as if it’s here, even if it’s still on its way.
9. Keep it a Secret. Don’t tell other people your dream. First of all, they’ll laugh at you and blow your confidence. I’m not sure why, but people really hate to see other people achieve greatness. Maybe they’re afraid of being left behind, but they are very effective in taking that dream right out from under you. You’ll quietly realize they’re right, and lay the dream aside and forget about writing down the affirmations, cleaning the blocks and visualization because it will begin to look silly after all. Learn more about the rules of dream making from here: Creating Affluence: The A-to-Z Steps to a Richer Life.
10. Practice living out your dream. Right before you go to sleep, imagine that you are living out your dream. The most important detail here is to get to the point where you can actually see yourself in your dream, right down to your shoes. Shakti Gawain gives you step-by-step instructions in her book, Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life.
11. Create space. Yes, you can Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life . If you want to bring something new into your life, create space for it on every level. Practically, this means to clean out your closet. Move your stuff, change your life. They say that old love letters from a painful breakup, even if they are stored in your attic, can affect your mood. You know they’re up there, and every time you think of them, it brings back a little heartbreak. Negative thoughts attract more negative thoughts. So get rid of anything and everything that doesn’t bring you joy. You really can’t afford a negative thought.
12. Create space inside. All transformation begins with this one simple practice – contemplation, or meditation or prayer. Just sit for ten minutes each day and think about and do absolutely nothing. There are many books and tapes available on meditation – but if you can think of this as just a simple way to flush out your mind, your path to the art of meditation will be much easier. There is no magic formula, and you will often feel the same after you started than you did before. You’ll incorrectly assume you did it wrong. But the truth is, you don’t really notice the effects of meditation until hours, or days after it’s over. It makes its appearance known as a state of joy that just comes out of now where.
13. God doesn’t really give you want you want on a silver platter. Most of you unfortunately learned this tough little lesson when you wished for a pair of roller skates, and dutifully blew out every single candle, and still no skates appeared on the table. What God does do is really something much more profound, which does explain why he is God after all, and rarely thinks in human terms like us. He’s much grander than that. He gently, and quietly taps you on the shoulder to move you to a different place – often that open window, and never the door. Here, your dream becomes much less important, as that burning desire is quieted, and you become busier doing some simple, yet mystical, job God has given you. This is a nice place to be – yearning is replaced with satisfaction for the completed task that is right in front of you. Funny though, that dream that you left behind, and you planted all the seeds for, suddenly appears, and you don’t even notice its arrival. Only when you look back at your path do your realize, “Hey, I wanted this all along, and look, it just fell into my lap when I didn’t even expect it.”

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