How do you catch a breath?
“Young boys should never be sent to bed… they always wake up a day older,” Johnny Depp in Finding Neverland.
Charlotte’s duvet has been stirring around in my mind. Have you ever picked up one of your child’s toys, the one you’ve already picked up, it seems, 1,000,000,000 times already, and thought, “Is this the last time I put this away?” One day, it will be the last time. And you won’t know that it was.
I gather summer clothes for the boys – trying to remember which one of the 4 boys wore which t-shirts, calculating who might fit into this one this year, and which ones are definitely too small and will no longer be worn by any person I birthed. T-shirts I had once completely forgotten, bring back a memory here and there, “I remember when he picked blueberries wearing this.” These shirts were once, as familiar to me as the faces of my children.
I don’t remember choosing to forget about these t-shirts when I packed them away last fall. But I did. And, just as quickly, I will forget about these familiar sweaters too, as I pack them away. I won’t even realize I’m doing it.
But for now, as I lead my busy life washing and packing Winter clothes, freshening Summer clothes, buying new sandals for 8 feet, I pack the memories away. But I’m setting the stage to forget. Children shed their childhood in layers, so quickly so subtly, that we hardly notice it’s happening.
I wonder. How much of my boy’s habits, “sayings”, dreams and wishes am I packing away with these sweaters? I know I’m doing this. But I can’t stop it. It’s like trying to catch a breath. (You can catch a footprint, here.) 
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We do associate so much with things, don’t we. I used to mark vertical lines on the clothing tags as I did laundry. 1 for first child, ll for second, lll for third. Soon it was a grab bag and they swap now back and forth.
Such a sweet picture. Aren’t sleeping children beautiful?
That is very sweet and very sad. I know exactly what you are talking about.
Awww I am a very sentimental person - really. And now all I want to do is run home and embrace my kiddos. Thanks for sharing!
That’s been on my mind as well lately, what the ancient Japanese referred to as the immanence of things. All we can do is live in that moment as much as we can. And hang onto those clothes as long as we can. Size eight shoes. Dudelet’s just moved up a size. And thrown away his dummy.
Do you think that maybe if we stopped watering them they would stop growing so fast? (un)relaxeddad I have a really good way to capture that footprint in plaster, let me know, and I’ll share it. Reminds me — I need to create a new batch.
Lovely post. It made me cry a little. I know just what you’re saying.
[...] may not be able to catch a breath, but we can catch a footprint. Here’s a beautiful, easy, inexpensive craft recipe to catch [...]
That is so true! It does seem like that’s how they slip away into adult hood.
I look at my son, soon to turn 18 and I wonder how did it happen, wasn’t he just playing with his hot wheels in the sand and now he’s planning his future, growin up and soon he’ll be on his own.
Obviously it’s very difficult to watch your kids grow - this year has been exceptionally hard for me as he graduates high school and I have to relinquish some of that hold I’ve been able to maintain and let him experience and grow into his own independence.
I love this story for your entry - I’ll link it up right away!
Oh, girl, now I’m crying. Good post.
Time does fly by and I love looking at photos and seeing the same tee-shirt on my three sons. I look at their rooms and see the years of their lives hanging on the walls, sitting on the bureaus and yes, lying on the floor.
Very nice post!
Beautifully written. I’m not a mother but I feel I can still relate to the emotion you have. Every time my mother would say something when I was younger I thought she was just crazy, I can see at this moment how hard that was for her. It’s amazing what growing up does and how everything comes full circle.
Good lord, thats an excellent picture. Brings to mind my daughter at the same age — and that’s high praise!
[...] I guess that empty place is something you eventually get used to; until it finally fades away. It becomes “normal.” Just as the leaves begin to fall in a few weeks, I will get used to seeing the trees without leaves; and I will also get used to this son being gone too. This adjustment will be imperceptible. If I’m not careful, I won’t notice this as it happens. [...]
[...] And, really, it’s kind of like a little gift. Like, no you can’t stop time, and you can’t catch a breath, but, you get this second-chance at summer. To do it right — to do all those things that you [...]
[...] The toys are the memory triggers. It will be hard to remember, just what they said, just how intent they were, without the actual toy to remind me. I forget so many things as time slips by. [...]
[...] over to Midwest Parents,. I’ll stay here, while I get hold of my wits, and figure out how to catch breaths… once and for [...]
[...] Those of you who live in parts of the world where there are minimal seasonal variations might be interested in learning that this transition occurs abruptly; almost overnight. Seasonal journeys are often accompanied by a single dramatic change in the weather; like the markedly cold turn downward into the 40 degree Fahrenheit range that happened last night. Suddenly, with an overwhelming need to cover every extremity, you are swiftly ushered away from that person who relished the barefoot days of summer, to one who may not like it, but is capable of living in a world blanketed in cold; where leaves no longer grace the magnificent trees, while you find some small joy in finding your beloved sweaters in the attic. [...]