In just fifteen minutes
I could change my life. I think. I have piles, and stacks and boxes and paperwork to get through. Photos that need tagged, photos that need framed. But I can’t order the photos until I have her over to help me decide where the pictures should go, and what size they should be. If you could see the piles of “scrapbook souvenirs” I have saved, you’d roll your eyes and walk away. But, then again, if you saw what I can do with those snippets, and how proud my son’s faces are when the book is done, you would begin to see my point.
Quicken needs updated, dates need to be entered on the calendar, and the laundry, dinner every night, and lunches to pack. And yes, by the time I get to Friday, I’m lucky if I can still speak in complete sentences too. Because, this is really how we spend 8-36 hours., now matter how hard we plan and try.
There are the books for me to read, the books to read to the kids, which I love to do, and, then there are the home movies that need edited. I am very, very, very far behind. I’m still editing the one from Christmas, last year.
Maybe I could make a dent in all of this if I promised myself 15 minutes. Fifteen minutes for each task. Maybe I could get through the piles, and they wouldn’t bug me all day long with their silent anxiety. Because, even though I am good at saying no, I still need some time off, and I really don’t see it coming any time soon.
The problem, is actually starting. The pile or the box is too overwhelming, and I tense up and walk away. I wonder if this was how it was with my Mom. I found pile after pile of quilt squares, and patterns and projects — all unfinished.
And more samplers that had yet to be opened. I’m sure it looked good at the time she started the quilt, and she eagerly started working. But then, she visited her favorite quilt web site, got her new quilt magazine or went to quilt club, and saw something new. And that’s when this project was laid down — because she felt ambitious. This latest one, would be so easy and so quick.
I don’t know why I’m bringing that up. Because her quilting ambitions really have nothing to do with my seemingly inability to get caught up with life. I do see a commonality between us, and it would be nice now, to talk it over with her, as I work my way through my own piles. Other than the fact, that I look back on her life, and wonder what it would be have been like if she had spent 15 minutes each night on each and every project she had. How many finished quilts would we have? Instead of all of them in various stages of production? Would it have helped her feel better to have them done? One quilt was finished, the one she started before my 11-year-old was born, all white. Finished just a few weeks before. She couldn’t wait to wash it in my then brand-new front loading washer. I did it for her, instead, and it lays across my bed.
But no, it isn’t like this, is it? You can’t work on a quilt for 15 minutes at a time, and move to the next one. You are emotionally attached to the work, to the quilt, to the colors, and you are drawn to this particular quilt, at this time. That is why it is an art.
This is precisely the reason I have avoided having any “craft” of my own. I cannot bear to have one more more unfinished thing. If the boys need a button sewn on, I usually send them to Dad, as I am unable to sit down long enough to get it done. And they know this — they say, “I better have Dad sew this.” Is that terrible?
I feel some days that I’m borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. For example, I decide to skip entering dates and sports schedules in the calendar tonight, because quicken will take so much time. But, then, I realize that because I skipped the calendar, I missed snack duty for kindergarten, and because I didn’t plan ahead, I have to take the kids along, and end up buying “extras” my children remind me that I don’t have, but need.
And of course, there is the housework, which, no I don’t mind. I find it quite cathartic, as she does sometimes, although sometimes I do get tired of cleaning up crunchy cereal on the floor of the pantry every 45 minutes. But I so love
these faces. And sometimes, I get sidetracked, because I realize they won’t stay this way for long.
But I must do something. I must find a way out of this overwhelming feeling of drowning underneath the weight of my own to do list. I will try to jump in 15 minutes each day into the dark places I dread to go every day. Of course, I will think that 15 minutes isn’t enough. It’s not even worth starting because I’ll never get it done. But maybe, instead, I will fine momentum. I won’t feel as if it all must get done today. Just 15 minutes today. The closed closet of scrap book materials will begin to take on new meaning, because I will be making progress.It will be hard for me to stop. I will easily get lost in the editing of the movies, in the memories, and 45 minutes will have passed. I can only take baby steps to get through this. And, I will have notebooks for each project, to keep track of where I am, and where I’ve left off. And writing things down is a form of observation, and when you observe something, things change.
I’m right there with you, reading flylady advice these days. Maybe there’s hope.
I hope the strategy works - 15 minutes seem doable.
(And I love the picture of your boys - they are lucky kids!)
I didn’t want to read this post because I got the sinking suspicion you had been peeking in my windows & looking at all my undone projects!! But then you really couldn’t because one thing on my “to do” list SHOULD be–clean my windows. A-hem…does anyone really like to do that?
15 minutes isn’t very long, maybe I should spend 15 more minutes reading FlyLady and Emilie Barnes again.
Oh how easily I can relate! You go girl for actually addressing it and not hiding out in the closet as I would like to do. I have a draft about mine but though if I published it… it would be known!!!!
ROTFL! And here I thought you were going to explain how to make mosaics with links on Flickr, lol.
Don’t most mothers feel this way though? Too much to do, too little time to do it in, even if the to-do lists look a little bit different?
I’m off now to do the housework that I have neglected lately by spending time a) with my kids, b) doing crafts or c) enjoying the start of fall.
My kids go to their dad for sewing, too. He even knows how to work a sewing machine.
Baby steps…that’s the way to go!
It’s a good strategy, my friend. It’s about the only way I’m finally catching up…but mine is 10 minutes at a time because I have the attention span of a gnat.
I am just the same and lhaven’t got any kids at home but one thing helps me and thats a timer, l time it for 30 minutes evey day even though l might go in and do more but its surprising what you can get done in 30 minutes.
But l know about magazines as l open them and next its an hour later and l am at the end. But silly stupid me l bught three books for amazon and were are they, stacked up on the coffee table and if any one puts another one on top of them l will find them next century.
Also do lists last thing at night and when your checking them of when you have done some on the list use a thick bright colour pen and its a great feeling.
But time three 30 minutes for your boys and let them choose when and what they want to do, you will never have this time again and there important, one thing just found is l can’t check spelling as am on vista and it won’t scroll back to check and some text is going to the right under the adds.
Jill
Yes, sometimes the sheer volume of it all just starts to wash over me - plus, reading blogs of all these super uber moms doesn’t help my self-esteem!! I wonder how they (seem) to get it all done, well, seamlessly. You’ll get back on track, don’t worry.
thanks babe for the shout out
Yr sons are so cute! And the whole”peter to pay paul” I KNOW!!!! It is at times crazy. Yr doing great! Notebooks are crucial! Lists are lovers! yahoo for you…
One day at a time - that’s the only way to go, with courage, of course.
Oh, Susie I can relate to this. I have piles of unfinished projects, too. Many of them sit there, because I do my best work when I feel inspired - I’m a better scrapbooker, writer, and culinary miracle maker. When I HAVE to do it, to get it done, the work suffers. But, if I only cooked when I felt like it, my family would rarely eat.
I have a mountain of boxes in my bedroom, setting out in the open with the thought that seeing them there would motivate me to clear the contents by finishing the projects sitting inside each one. It mostly just makes me want to take a nap when I go in there and look at them.
I need a strategy, too. Maybe the 15 minutes thing is something I’ll try. I’d love to hear how it works for you.
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