Susiej

I think it’s time I share with you the lessons I’ve learned from the lunch room — it could save your child from lots of humiliation. Like most Moms, I associate food and feeding my children with nurturing. So, when my oldest went off to school — all day — I assumed that I would still stay connected with him via the lunch box. However, I have since learned that there are rules that one must follow, especially when it comes to packing lunches, boys, and especially when it comes to “coolness.”

1. Less Dine More Dash. First, the rules of your lunch room days no longer apply. Due to increasing pressure to “to not clean your plate” because it leads to obesity, Mrs. Osgood no longer stands over a poor little girl named Susie forcing her to finish every drop of her meat relish sandwich. (Yes — horrible.) This puts more emphasis on the playtime after lunch, and less on the eating.
2. Ditch the Love Notes. Less supervision in the cafeteria means more trading.  Lunch boxes from home are raided by the kids around the table, and woe to the boy who receives a love note from his Mom. The note will be confiscated, and will be subject to a “group read. ” My boys still talk about JT’s love note as if it were yesterday, and it happened over 4 years ago:
   

   I love you, I love you, I love you so well. If I had a peanut I’d give you the shell.

3. Ditch the Lunch Box. Especially the one with a picture of Sponge Bob on it. Anything that is not “trash-can ready” slows down transport time to the playground. (Lunch boxes must be carried back to the classroom before heading out to play.) This is a “timing disaster” when it comes to jockeying for position on teams — and if a kid is late — he gets picked — LAST. The dreaded last. Or worse — the game’s already started before he makes it back to the playground. So, stick with brown paper lunch bags, and disposable plastic baggies.
4. The kids are loose in the Candy Store. Vending machines with “healthy alternatives”, made-to-order milkshakes, and Bosco Sticks are available by choice. Yes — choice. First graders now walk into the lunchroom with the ability to choose whether they want a strawberry smoothie, pizza, and yogurt cups. So, the school does still print it’s regular weekly menu, containing all the USDA’s guidelines for nutrition — but this food is in direct competition with all the extras from the “smoothie bar.”
5. One milkshake for all the first graders! Just put it on my tab. As my first grader told me, “Mom it’s all free!!” No money is involved. Many schools now use a money-less system that allows parents to pre-pay for lunches via credit card. The cafeteria staff assure me they keep tabs so that no one is buying someone else’s lunches — but if you could take a look at my son’s monthly activity report, you’d think otherwise too.
6. No Funny Faces. After reading the above, I think it goes without saying that cute little sandwich you made of the face for your little guy on an English Muffin, with red pepper eyebrows and cucumber eyes will subject your little guy to ridicule for years. Stick with the basics — PBJ, or Ham and Cheese.

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Filed under: Laugh, Life, boy, health |