Sex and the Christmas tree
Some say we think too much with our brains; we make our decisions based on logic, while ignoring our internal guidance system. The knot in your stomach is the original primordial guidance system intended to keep you alive – to tell you to run when you’re face to face with a tiger.
Today the knot hit me while standing in Target looking for the perfect artificial tree. In an atmosphere of plastic and fluorescent lights, the knot is easy to push out of site. Did the knot have a purpose? A quick scan assured me there was no tiger prowling around, and other than the package of Reese Cups my husband put in our cart, there was no threat to my life. Plus, we were in a hurry.
I tried to think logically, as this really is a practical decision. But the economics didn’t add up. The best looking tree was on sale for $200. (There were higher priced ones too.) Around the corner from Target is a lot of freshly cut Douglas Firs for $40. In six years, we would start to see a return on our $200 investment (tax included.) Would the tree last that long? Fake ones, you told me, shed too.
I told him about my knot – he said he had it too. I remember that Michelle said she loves the smell of pine needles when she vacuums. I do too. But I was ready to plunge in anyway and get the tree. Kelly-O did it, so I can too. And Leslie said, it just makes so much sense. But he wasn’t moving. And he, is the more impulsive one.
We left Target without the tree. We drove to the tree lot around the corner. There were no hours to spare for the drive to the place where we cut our own tree. My husband pulls one off the pile of Frasier Firs and stands it up. It’s beautiful. It has a spirit. It has a history and a soul. And a smell.
“How about this one,” he says. “Fine,” I say. “It’s great.” Usually, he picks a tree that is much too large for our room, but I decide size doesn’t matter this year. We’ve experimented with every tree in the field, over the years. The Frasier Fir always suits us; the Scotch Pine’s needles are limp; the Douglas Fir has needles that are too small. I take another look at this tree – is it big enough? That top branch is curved just a little too much – will it look pathetic under our gold paper-Mache star. Or maybe I’m wrong. Is this the perfect tree?
“You know what’s great about a real tree?”
“What,” he says.
“You’re not stuck with it. You can always try a different tree next year. With a fake tree, you have to live with it, whether you like it or not, for at least six years. It’s too much of a commitment.”
The knot in my stomach starts to spread and lift away.
He says, “It’s amazing that you even got married.”
Fourteen years of wedded bliss, with one new tree to spice things up once a year.
Now, how will we ever explain this to the kids?
Good for you!! Go with your gut every time. Still sniggering over your title and trying to think of a witty response which will not offend…..oh well, best go with my gut and say nothing
Don’t explain this to the kids. It will gross them out when they are adults. Aaaahhh!
Anyways, it is all a great reason to get a real tree. I was contemplating this same decision. I am going with real as well.
We like Fraser firs.
I think I enjoy the smell of real trees too much ever to consider buying an artificial one.
Our annual tree cutting event is scheduled for Dec 10. The kids can’t wait.
Your titles are getting pretty good.
I have never did a comparison before LOL! Maybe now would be a good time, We need a new tree! =) Loved the post Susie.
We got a new tree for the first time last year and dudelet’s then three-year old face completely justified it. If you’re small, real trees are still more about Cmas than fake ones. I think it’s genetic.
At least the husband doesn’t shed, right?
Ha! I loved this post.
Oh, I hope you enjoy your real tree!
I have to say that I’m really looking forward to getting our family’s first christmas tree, and it’s definitely going to be a real one! I think you made the right choice…I suppose you could spray a fake tree w/ pine scent, but it just wouldn’t be the same. Plus christmas tree growers plant two for every one they cut down, and an acre of christmas trees produces enough oxygen for 18 people. I read that somewhere…
real trees all the way, baby.
Thanks Susie, that title kept me guessing all the way through!
I’m with you. I love real trees and just can’t come over to the other side. I need a tree that’s messy and real and soulful and that smells like Christmas!
I love real trees-mess and all! And I have a hard time committing to things too…except for my future hubby!
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