Sometimes I think I’m a real-live Lucille Ball

Posted on January 14th, 2007 by SusieJ

This week’s theme from Mama Says Om is Acceptance. My contribution is about accepting life’s tangible offerings, no matter how they conflict with our expectations. Today, I expected to be writing my first entry on a series I’m writing about “Guilt and Motherhood.” But I’m not done with it. Instead, I spent my writing time yesterday dealing with water in my basement.

I expected more out of my day than that. While my hands were busy with the very urgent, practical things, my mind was jumping ahead trying to get through this so that I could get back to my real life. As I look back, I realize that my first red flag should have been the words get through this.

When my second son was born, I found this book by Penelope Leach, The First Six Months. She says that the common response to the demands of a new baby are often, I just have to get through this. She offers an alternative: What about being present with it, and embracing all of its joys along with the practicalities? Getting through it is not acceptance. That’s rejection. Those words captivated me and carried me through those early months of sleep deprivation.

Now, I think I left those words behind with my nursing bras. As I look back on yesterday, I realize how much of my mind was focused on getting back to my REAL life. “How could any of this mundane, inconvenient stuff have anything to do with me, and the life I want to be living?”

My act of not accepting lead me down this path: I bought a portable sump pump, as a temporary solution until the broken one is replaced. I thought I had the one with the sensor, but in the midst of getting the kids to stop hitting each other at Lowe’s, something got lost in translation. No sensor meant I had to get up to turn the pump on every three hours all night long. But you know what was really fun? When the drain house got so much pressure that it actually flew out of the sink and sprayed the ceiling and walls and laundry. That happened 3 times. We also found a scooter wheel lodged into the outside gutter. Hmmmm.

What I know.
*Grief and a new baby are great teachers. Their realities force you to live in the present moment because you cannot escape it.
*If you’re going to refinish your basement, always use ceramic tile. The basement always leaks somewhere, and wet carpet smells.
*You can find a nice wool area rug to make it look really chic. basement
*My plumber recommends ZOELLER SUMP PUMP with a battery back-up. Because the times when you really need it to work is usually the time the power always goes out.
*Consciously breathe throught the day. Breath by Breath: The Liberating Practice of Insight Meditation
*This Red Lion Sump Pump works great – really great — lots of pressure. Hold the hose down securely, and get one with a sensor.
*And, this dehumidifier is a good one. Soleus Air Dehumidifier. It is 5 times more powerful than the cheap ones you can find at Lowes, but not that much more expensive. Read the reviews to see what I’m talking about.
*Visit your basement often. You never know what kind of surprises you’ll find.
*Practicing the Power of Now: Essential Teachings, Meditations, and Exercises from The Power of NowYou’ve probably already read it. But it is a simple book to read, and re-read if you want to learn acceptance.
*My Motherhood Guilt post is on its way.
slime Black furry thing found in basement sump pump. It was really much bigger — when they pulled it out it started to break apart in pieces. No idea what it was.

Related posts:

  1. I have a friend, and just a typical Saturday
  2. Real Moms Spend the Night at the Zoo
  3. Gulit and Motherhood, Part I
  4. Little Red Puts Me To Sleep
  5. How To Make A Dream Come True

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2 Comments

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  1. Rachel ~ Jan 14, 2007 at 11:40 pm

    Well your here post resonates with me for a few reasons.

    I suffer from major momma guilt on a regular basis, because I frequently lose it on my 3 yr old these days. But, guilt doesn’t help anything does it? So I’ll have to go read your series.

    We need a sump pump, our basement was built below the sewer lines, and we want to put a bathroom down there eventually, in order to get water out, we need a sump pump, we are told. I’ll bookmark your recommendations :)

    And thirdly, my husband and I are fans of “The Power of Now”, and we recently met Eckhart Tolle on a ferry, he was pretty unassuming, I thought he looked like a detective searching for clues, he was wearing a tan trenchcoat type jacket with a tan rainhat that was kinda detective style. He was very friendly to my husband and kind to our infant, I just smiled at him and tended to mothering while my husband did the talking. I’ve been considering getting some of his work in audio version so I can listen to it while losing my mind, when I need it most.

    :) (wandered in from mamasaysom)

  2. Tara Marie ~ Jan 17, 2007 at 12:29 am

    I’m so glad to see that you came to a place of acceptance. I loved reading Penelope Leach many years ago with my first, and then revisiting her with the subsequent babies………acceptance. What a beautiful thing. Sump-pumps and dehumidifiers….two more beautiful things……Scooter wheels lodged in the gutters…not so beautiful….but so very perfect with children around!

    I too wandered in from Momma Says Om..

    Peace, Tara Marie

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