I Cut Through the Water And Conquered My Biggest Fear
This is a sponsored post from Disney and BlogHer.
I stood on the dock with my oldest son while he shot shaving cream around my ankles, to make it easy for my feet to slip into the boots of the ski. I leaned on him for the strength to push my feet into the boot, and once my foot was secure, I cried. My legs felt as if they were in traction — I could not walk on dry land in these things, and I felt unnaturally trapped. But alas, walking was not the point of water skis. I would soon be in the water, and once again, the fear of being pulled behind a boat gripped my stomach, and I was immobilized with fear.
I wrestled with this “silly” fear. Lots of people water ski. Yet, they start skiing as a kid, not at the age of 48, when fear of what could go wrong, has had a chance to settle into our bones. At mid-life, I was trying to unlearn the fear my body had worked hard to earn, protecting me like a cocoon. Last summer, I managed to learn how to ski on two skis, which, in itself, was a major accomplishment.
But was that enough? No. This year, I wanted to learn to ski on one ski – a slalom run – just because everyone else is doing it — very well. My husband, my two oldest boys, and most of our neighbors are effortless slalom skiers. I’m not interested in being an awesome skier, like the above mentioned who are able to make the water tower over their heads while they cut back and forth across the wake. I just want to know that I can ski on one ski, just like everyone else in my purview. I don’t want to say, “I’m too old to learn,” even though, maybe I am. I just don’t want to think that way. This summer, that was my goal. A bottle of champagne was waiting in the fridge for that day.
I wiped my tears; while another friend, an awesome skier, came down to help me. She calls me kiddo, even though we’re close to the same age. She helped me into the water, and that, surprisingly calmed me. I felt supported in the water. Than, she ran down the checklist:
- Ski tips up
- Knees pulled into the chest
- Rope to the right of the ski (my left foot forward)
- Push… push, push with your legs.
Day 1 Result: I pulled, pulled, pulled with my arms. I felt nothing in my legs. I fell face forward and swallowed water every single time’s panicked every time I thought about myself standing up, and not knowing what to do when the waves came in. “Maybe my legs just don’t have the strength? She said, “I know you have the strength… if you can walk, you have the strength.” I tried 6 times. No success. Until I can visualize myself skiing without panic, I probably won’t get up. These practice sessions are breaking down the barriers of fear, bit by bit. Immediately afterwards, I felt sore under my forearm, right out from the fourth finger. No pain in the legs, where I was supposed to be pushing. Within an hour, I felt sore in my hips and my shoulders — and my butt. Still, I can’t help but wish I had 20 summers ahead of me to learn to ski, and 20 summers more of youth.
Day 2: I gave up and went back to skiing on two skis.
Day 3: More skiing on two skis, this time crossing the wake without falling.
Day 4: I couldn’t help but notice that skiing was starting to feel “comfortable,” rather than life threatening. Plus, there was no pain, and the “weird walking-on-water sport” was becoming effortless, and FUN. That terrified panic I felt standing behind a boat was long gone.
Instead of allowing the boat to pull me at its will, I was deciding where I would go and when… the right side of the wake was my favorite, and I noticed that my left leg was the strongest when it came to moving across the wake. Now might be time to lift one leg and find out what it felt like to slalom. “All you need is some clear water,” they said.
Day 5: So, I ventured out, on Monday morning, to join the 10 a.m. Ski Club – this is where the pristine waters thrive. Just after the fishing boats leave, just before the tubers have rolled out of bed, and the “wake” is officially opened on the lake. The slalom skiers are out there every morning, driving the boat slowly across the water (so as not to make a wake) at ten till ten, sitting in position and ready for the first skier to cut through the glass-like water at 10 on the dot.
On my turn, I went to the right side of the wake, lifted up one leg, and to my surprise did not fall. “Now, to get this ski off my foot…” I struggled to get my foot out, looked down, and immediately fell flat on my face. The pros in the boat laughed and said, “You could of told us you were going to slalom this time.” Except, I didn’t know I was going to do that until then.
On my second trial that morning, they made the bindings looser… and then, I made them even looser. I wondered if I could get up with that big ski flapping all over my right foot, but I did. As soon as I was settled on the right side of the wake, off went the ski, and away I went. I dared to breathe, and let out a cheer… and I still didn’t fall.
The boat cheered, and I laughed, and still didn’t fall. Even though I was doing it, I could not in a million years believe this was happening. All was well, until we hit a turn, and down I came. But that half-lake slalom run was enough to earn my glass of champagne on a Monday morning.
Did accomplishing this feat give me the exhilaration I wanted? Yes. And heaps of power. In her own personal victory, Penny Chenery steps into the male-dominated business of horse-racing, despite her lack of skill, expertise and knowledge. Against all odds, she ultimately creates the first Tripe Crown winner in 25 years, the Secretariat to create what may be the greatest racehorse of all time.
So what is the one thing you accomplished that you were afraid to do? Share your story, and win a chance for a $100 Visa gift card. Click here for the official rules. And for more chances to win, check out these bloggers…
See the Disney movie, “Secrateriat”, starting Diane Lane. In theaters October 8, 2010. Check out updates on Facebook and Twitter .
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I had 3 miscarriages before conceiving my first child. I was afraid to push my luck but I managed to have 2 more babies after that.
I know this sounds silly, but even though I’d wanted a baby from the age of 16, I was terrified of giving birth. It’s really no wonder, when you look at women on TV and especially soaps, who have babies. When I hit “old” (the year after 29), I was still single and had no marriage prospects. On the one hand, I was relieved that I’d never have to give birth, but on the other hand I was rather depressed to realize I would never have a baby, either. As it turns out, I got married and got pregnant, still terrified of giving birth. I went to childbirth classes and the teacher acted like I was crazy to be 8 months along and to STILL be afraid. And of course, childbirth classes teach you that the worst thing in the world is to be in the hospital too early because they’ll want do give you drugs, which just makes things worse. So when I was 2 weeks late and they were talking about inducing me, I totally panicked. Yes, I was afraid to give birth, but I was more afraid of what would happen if they started drugging me. As it turned out, I woke up in labor the day before they were going to induce me. Through a long series of problems worthy of a sitcom, I finally got to the hospital after spending the last 1 1/2 hours NOT pushing. I was totally hyperventilated by that time, so everything was hazy and I had no idea that the cord was wrapped around my son’s neck and that they had to suction him out. So thanks to God or Fate or whatever, I made it. And the first time I held my son, I told my husband that I could do this again. And I did! So now whenever I talk to other women who are afraid like I was, I tell them everything I’ve learned and that it’s nowhere near as bad as TV shows make it out to be. So not only did I conquer my fear, but I’m helping other women conquer theirs.
Can’t wait to see this movie! I’ve overcome breaking my back in the middle of college to still finish strong and keep up good grades!
i was afraid to continue living life
I learned to swim during my college year, it was a huge step!
I got out of a 10 yr relationship that was horrible. I was miserable and scared and was threatened beyond belief. But I managed to break myself and my kids away from him. He was addicted to drugs and having major issues. With the help of God and being strong. I am now married to the man of my dreams who treats me like a princess.
I am terrified every time I go to a new doctor. Almost every one of them assumes I am lying or at least exaggerating, and they put me through procedures which take more months out of my already almost completely pared down life. Yet I still go, and indeed, after about a decade I did manage to get a physical therapist and a medication which actually helps, to the point where I can leave the house very occasionally for a reason not related to medical issues.
Its on my mind right now with a new, terrifying doctor appointment coming up when I will beg help for a problem created by lazy doctors telling me to take OTC meds for years of chronic, severe pain. I am positive this problem will take my life if I am unable to find a doctor willing and able to help. So back into the breach…
I was afraid to drive after car accident… but now I am ok
I never thought I would be doing the job that I am. Didn’t ever believe I had it in me to do it or didn’t think I was smart enough to do it. Today, I am really good at what I do cause I love doing it so much. I give 110% of myself to it and because of that, I have come a long way from all that insecurity I had about myself.
gmissycat@yahoo.com
Tweeted this wonderful giveaway and thank you for the opportunity!
http://twitter.com/gmissycat/status/25836824149
gmissycat@yahoo.com
I was afraid to go to graduate school but I did it.
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I have a fear of asking for help. Every time I do it, I feel like I accomplished something great.
I’ve let others see me for who I am, instead of who I was pretending to be.
thanks for sharing your story, you look so happy
finding job was a hard time for me, i was afraid to go to interviews because i kept getting rejections, but i finally found this lovely job two years ago after many tries, i’m glad i kept i didn’t give up sooner and take a job i wasn’t as happy with.
songyueyu at gmail
I moved from my home in Louisiana to Florida in 1998. I left all my family and friends behind to take a job with significantly more money and benefits. I was scared to death. I had to find a place to live, learn a new system, make new friends. Now 12 years later I have been so happy since my move–I absolutely love my job. I go home at least twice a year to see my family and old friends, but I am a very happy Floridan.
http://twitter.com/fostertam/status/25922734425
I accomplished going to work for myself from home. Leaving behind a guaranteed paycheck and benefits when that is your only source of income was (and still is) a scary adventure, but every day of freedom makes it worthwhile:)
How to raise quadruplets & a singleton and give everyone the attention & love they deserve as individuals.
I was so excited to move away from home. But as soon as I was away, I realized that I didn’t want to leave any more. Traveling back and forth was hard but eventually I found a way to come home. I love this place.
My obstacle to overcome was my health. I have had chronic tmj for a span of 6 months for the past four years…I am only 35! I wasn’t able to eat or talk. It was a true trial.
leahforlove(at)aol(dot)com
Hubby and I took a chance and left everything for the unknown and thank goodness we did. It was scary because we had three small children (1, 2 and 2) when we relocated but it afforded us opportunities abound.
Just a few years ago, I was NOT athletic at all. Not the least!
And, I decided I wanted to run a 5k. I trained. And I trained.
I did it. And then another. And another.
And, this Fall, I will run my 3rd marathon!!!
Training, persistance, hard work…and the help of the Lord! Praise God!
I WAS ALWAYS AFRAID TO GO TO LEARN HOW TO SKI BEING YOU GET HURT A LOT IN THE BEGINNING. HOWEVER, I’M STILL AFRAID SO I STILL HAVE YET TO LEARN LOL. SORRY TO MIX THINGS UP A BIT kytah00@yahoo.com
SECOND ENTRY TWEET http://twitter.com/kytah00/status/26047302025 kytah00@yahoo.com
I don’t know that I’ve completely overcome it, but I have lupus! I try to make the best of it even though I have alot of pain and fatigue with it! Thanks for a chance to win!
kmassman gmail
I went skydiving with my husband. I wasn’t sure I could jump when the time came, but I was glad I did – it is an amazing experience!
tweeted: http://twitter.com/KerryBishop/status/26128959376
i went deep sea fishing even though i have a huge fear of the water
nannypanpan at sbcglobal.net
I became a teenage mom at 17 and married my son’s father. I overcame the statistics and finished high school with my diploma, but it was tough. Classmates were cruel and there were plenty who pointed and laughed at me. Many times I wanted to give up and just take the test and get my GED. In my heart, though, I wanted that diploma and the chance to walk across the stage and be handed what took so hard to get. I kept my focus and graduated…while my son and mother sat in the audience and watched me walk across the stage. While the marriage was a mistake, my son never was. He graduated college with honors 2 years ago and I couldn’t be prouder of him. What I learned and always taught him was that your education is something no one can ever take away from you.
After being in an abusive marriage for 11 years, I sucked up all the courage I could muster and left him. I was a very scared single mom, but it was the best thing I ever did. Here I am 10 years later…a happily married mom who gave my daughter the best DADDY she could ever have! thanks
bleatham*at*gmail.com
tweet
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bleatham*at*gmail.com
great story!
I actually finally flew in an airplane! lol-I always feared it my ENTIRE life and the summer of 2007, I flew to NYC at night:) LOVED IT!!!
Thanks for the chance to win!
ajoebloe(at)gmail(dot)com
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I was afraid to keep trying after having 4 miscarriage. I finally got 2 great kids out of all that pain though!
I left a job that was so terrible I was physically ill every morning on my way to work. I didn’t have another job lined up then, but I knew I couldn’t stay in such a terrible situation.
I moved 2000 miles away from everybody I knew.
I’m afraid of heights and the few times I flew in small planes I needed tranqs- so I went up in a little Cessa… did I mention I was flying it? I took 3 lessons and would have gone for my pilots license if I’d had the money for it
Loved it!
I was afraid to ride a horse bareback – but I did it! And I loved it!
In middle school i hated gym in highschool I dreaded it. Now I start the day out each morning with a mile run. I love it I am going to enter my first 5 k soon
I have had to overcome being bullied in high school. Yes, it is over 15 years later, but it probably took me the first 10 years after high school to realize that I was an important part of society.
At college I was able to redefine myself from someone that was treated horrible to someone that knew how to be a good friend. I realized that if I weren’t so shy and passive I probably wouldn’t have been a good target for bullying. For awhile, I wasn’t a kind person because I didn’t want to be bothered, but now I have a lot of friends that I love and am able to talk to my tormenters. I have found that they did what they had to do to survive and I have been lucky enough to be married and have a wonderful son that people love.
i learned how to swim when i was 2 years old it was very scary for me. whitecarrie69@yahoo.com
I was afraid to sober up. I loved drinking alcohol and how it made all my problems disappear, for awhile- or so I thought. I am a recovering alcoholic with 35 yrs of sobriety and serenity. I worked with teenagers and adults who also are alcoholics and drug addicts in a 28-day treatment center, until I retired. I continue everyday working on “my program” to continue daily to find that happiness. I don’t need alcohol in my life – I need winners, just like me!
I have a fear of speaking in public I am extremely shy and have a fear of speaking in public and I finally did this in my last year of college and looked everyone in the eye
tbarrettno1 at gmail dot com
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http://twitter.com/ChelleB36/status/26511450304
tbarrettno1 at gmail dot com
I had 2 part time jobs. One is great, but the other was miserable. I recently left the miserable one. It was really scary because I didn’t have anything to replace it, but I knew I had to get out of there. I’m still a little under employed as I need more hours, but so far I’ve gotten some temp hours in addition to my regular part time hours at my good job. A lot of stress is gone, and things seem to be working out well.
I was afraid to fly for long time after I had a panic attack in a plane. I was finally able to start flying again after I started taking anti anxiety medicine before I went on the plane.
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I was afraid to keep living when my daughter passed away. Truth is I still am to some degree. But I’m doing it, and doing it with more presence now than before. I have to show up every day for my son, and he brings me great joy and the reason I have for living.
I’ve struggled with weight since my teen years. I lost weight to get married. Gain weight with a baby. Lost weight. Gained weight with another baby. Lost weight. Gained weight quitting smoking. And now I’ve taken control. It’s been 3 years since I lost weight and I’ve kept it off. Yay for me!
coriwestphal at msn dot com
I’m usually one to quit after trying and failing something the first time – this just reminds me how important it is to keep trying!
I overcame depression after losing 2 children & went on to have a beautiful baby girl
I STARTED WRITING AGAIN, AFTER *CRIPPLING* WRITER’S BLOCK
I have overcome having asthma as a child to become an adult who has controlled my symptoms through proper diet and eliminating toxins in my home by “going green”.
My mom tried to shelter me from going outdoors and playing beause she was afraid I’d get an attack. I don’t blame her for worrying about me but she instilled her neurosis in me. I consider it a triumph that I got over those fears and I like to run 10K races.
pauleyd68 (at) yahoo (dot) com
I quit my job when in my late 20′s when I realized my career was not fulfilling my spirit. It was hard because I had a good salary and knew I’d have to spend all my savings to go back to get my masters, but I took the leap and got my teaching degree. I was very broke for a very long time, but now, 15 years later I know it was the best decision of my life.
Great story! So proud of you. I didn’t think I’d be able to move on my own to NYC, it was hard but I did it! I lived there for awhile, and now I’m away at school until I *gulp* move to California!
I always thought I couldn’t sing: my sister and my mother could and my father & I couldn’t.
A friend took me to a choral concert and I loved the group, said I wanted to join, but I couldn’t sing. I joined as a support member. Got a mailer from a local school that said: do you sing in the shower?. Well, yes. I took the class and the teacher said I had a fine voice I just needed to think of my body as an instrument and learn to tune it. I did, and I’ve been singing with the chorus for 20 years now.
blogged http://slehan.blogspot.com/2010/10/win-100-visa-from-secretariat.html
I was the first child in both my parents families to obtain a college degree. Side note: my parents have 13 brothers and sisters each (for a total of 26 aunts and uncles) !
sazzyfrazz at gmail dot com
The small hurdles I’ve overcome are so tiny compared to what others have done. I’ve overcome shyness to become a speaker at a seminar; I overcame the loss of part of an ovary to become Mom to 4 additional children and I survived as a single parent after my husband of 13 years left me.
Tweet – http://twitter.com/willitara/status/26953828904
I was afraid to make changes in my life because I really felt like no matter what I did my life would never even be ‘okay’.
One day I finally got fed up and angry enough to make the changes. It was scary. There were lots of buzzards circling, just waiting for me to fail and fall on my face. Then there were people trying to help, with their hands out. I stood firmly and thanked the people offering help. I asked them to just keep the offer open. Let me see if I can stand on my own two feet. Let me see if I am can do it. I learned to do a lot for myself and it made me feel stronger, smarter, better. I let a few people do a few small things to help me do things I couldn’t do. I did a lot more than I ever thought I could do. The buzzards eventually gave up.
Now here I am feeling strong and solid and confident that I can face whatever life throws at me, even though it may be difficult. I am blessed right now, very blessed with a wonderful life.
I never would have thought I would be able to live this life.
I became an adult! I’m still scared some of the time, but being a mother, a wife, and a responsible human being is one of the greatest things I have EVER done, or will do.
I really wanted to work at home with my kids after being at work for what seemed like all day everyday but I was scared I had trouble when my daughhter was born with depression after trying to stay home with her not only the fear of the depression creeping back but also the finacial loss but we braced for the worst and after 5 years of happily being a work at home mom we are better off now than we could have dreamed