Totally Transform the Way You Handle Your Kids
The longer I listened and learned from the Total Transformation Program, the more I began to believe that ineffective parenting causes problem behavior in children. While driving in my car, listening to behavioral therapist James Lehman on the audio CDs explain how to handle Oppositional Defiant Disorder in children, I realized how I had been setting my own kids up to misbehave. The good news is, the program shows you step by step how to stop what you’re doing, so you can reverse the spiral of bad behavior. A big thanks to the Parent Bloggers Network for introducing me to this educational series.
For example; one of my sons has learned that if he throws a REALLY big fit about taking out the garbage, I will still make him take out the garbage; but I probably won’t ask him to do it again. This kid is totally manipulating me; and he knows it. I shudder to think of the example I’m setting for his brothers.
We have heard the advice before: Set clear limits for our children, and let them experience the consequences of their actions. But as parents, we need to be reminded. Sometimes, our children have health, emotional or behavior issues that “they just can’t help,†and we become lax at enforcing the limits and rules we’ve set for everyone else in the family. Soon, this becomes a habit, and kids begin to think, “It’s OK if I don’t have to do my chores when I get home from school, because I’m worn out from the kid who bullied me all day.†Lehman explains that the real world will not compensate our kids for their excuses. It’s up to parents to teach our kids to take responsibility for their own behavior, and to learn to function and lead a productive life with whatever handicaps they may have.
As parents we can feed the monster of giving our kids “special treatment” without realizing that we’re setting our kids up to be defiant.
Can you imagine trying to negotiate yourself out of a speeding ticket when the officer walks up to your car? It doesn’t work; I’ve tried it. But, as Lehman explains, when we let our kids negotiate their way out of what’s expected of them, we’re not being fair to our children. We’re giving our kids a false sense of the way the world works. Life will be especially difficult for our children if we force them to learn the reality of self-responsibility as adults.
The Total Transformation Program starts with an Introduction DVD. This was my least favorite part of the program; some of the acting, I felt was difficult to watch. From there, you start the 7-audio lessons, one per week, that really take you into the meat of the program. Each lesson is presented by Lehman himself. I listened to these in the car; over and over again whenever I needed a pep talk. The CDs include examples, and direct strategies you can implement immediately; and lead you to self examination about the type of language you’re using with your children, and the “type” of parental behavior you need to change.
There is also a 118-page workbook that helps you identify which type of behavior problems you are having. Recognizing and understanding the problem is the first step to recovery, and I am currently doing the workbook four times, one time for each child. Each child is different.
The program demands time, work, and introspection. The price tag for the complete program, is hefty: $327. Still, how much would a year in therapy cost? However, the program is guaranteed to work for you or your money back. You pay only $19.00 for shipping and handling ($25 to Canadian destinations). If, and only if, you decide to keep the Total Transformation Program after the completion of the 30-Day Free Program Trial, the cost is three monthly payments of $109.00.
You can also sign up for the Parental Support Line, which is $1 for the first 30 days, and $29 per month after that. If you want to check out James Lehman and what he has to offer, sign up for his Empowering Parents enewsletter. (Sign up is on the bottom of the page.)
Check out the free trial at The Total Transformation Website. It could easily change your life — as well as the life of your kids.
[...] Want to learn away to totally transform the way you handle your kids? I have a review up here, for PBN on the Total Transformation Program, which deals specifically with Oppositional Defiant [...]
[...] She explains, “Sometimes, our children have health, emotional or behavior issues that ‘they just can’t help…” [...]