UPDATE: Nothing!!! She FOUND NOTHING!! Turns out, as you get older, you get all kinds of funny growths on your skin, and these were all PERFECTLY HARMLESS!!! And the best part is, my skin cancer prevention routine also fights wrinkles! So, I will be posting a list of all the over-the-counter stuff the Doc recommends to fight cancer…. and repair wrinkles!!! So, keep drinking the tea and eating the berries… and lots of sunscreen. Thanks for all the e-mails and comments!
I’m not sure how I let it happen, but I let two full years pass without a full-body scan under the watchful eyes of a trained dermatologist. I, a one-time skin cancer victim, should have known better.
I’m dreading the sparse clinical-feel of the office, peeling off the clothes in the cold, sterile examining room, while I point out the few spots that I already think are suspicious, and the doctor surprising me with his concerns over a new spot; one that I have yet to discover. Knowing all too well that today’s damage to my skin was done years ago, and that while I do now drink mug after mug of green tea and eat handfuls of blackberries, the results of this exam are completely out of my control. My skin is a wild card. It could go either way.
Stay alert to your own skin. The skin cancer my doctor found two years ago did not look like your typical run-of-the-mill skin cancer, based on the photos you see hanging up on posters in the doctor’s office, or web pages. Those gory photos are well-advanced skin cancer, and are misleading. Skin cancer, when it starts, can look as innocent as a red, flat spot, that maybe flakes as if you have dry skin.
You think about how well your life is going; that maybe things are just too good to be true, and that maybe this could be your slap in the face.
The appointment also brings up the that reminder that when I get into the car and drive home, I won’t be able to give my concerned Mother the details of what the doctor said, and the play-by-play of next steps, biopsy appointments to be scheduled around her calendar so that she will be available to watch my kids. She is no longer the back-up sounding board who says, “Oh, it will be nothing,” or “Do you want me to come with you?” or “Do you want to drop your kids off here, or do you want me to come over?”
Instead, my son will be sitting in the waiting room with me, and we’ll flip through the Nickelodeon Magazines, while I’ll keep trying to sneak a peek at House Beautiful. He will be a nice distraction.
The last time, I felt indignant, as I drove home alone (husband watching the kids) with bandages taped around my face. Alone, because just a few months earlier, my Mother had the audacity to die, leaving so many of her jobs, like this one, as chief hand-holder, unfinished. Now, two years later, I’m all grown up, and realize that yes, I can go through these kinds of things on my own now.
In fact, I rather enjoyed the three hours of blissful alone time. A rarity. To sit and read a book, free of interruptions and questions. Kind of like a spa treatment.
There is that odd chance, of course, that I’ll be fine today, and that a biopsy isn’t even needed. That’s my hope.
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Oh I hope you get good news!
Susie, I hope it went well. I, too, have an annual skin check. I had a little spot on my face removed about a year ago; only pre-cancerous, but even being near that word is uncomfortable.
And I’m sorry your mom isn’t there with us. Mine, a breast cancer survivor, doesn’t live near enough to stop by for tea, but is just a phone call away. Your words are a good reminder to all of us to appreciate our mothers while we still have them.
I’ll be thinking of you Susie as you wait.
Me, too, ma’am.
What an excellent update! As a fellow skin cancer sufferer I know how easy it is to let these things slide. It is the ostrich principle. My Bestie’s mum, born years before the advent of sunscreen etc, now has chronic melanomas on her face. They are non-invasive but she is worried that with all the cutting and tucking they’re doing every 6 months, she’s going to run out of skin! Mind you, on one profile she looks half her age! The Doc has promised to lift the other side and even her up next time….
Congratulations on becoming a grown-up!
Shame we have to lose the people we love before we finally complete the process. I’m sure your mum would be very proud of the grown-up you’ve become.